Pope Wilbur the First

At what point does our Congress step up and protect Americans from the clowns running this shit show?

ComEd has the worst customer service and IT systems in the world. They are terrible!

A reminder: You only have to be over 17 to register to vote, not over 18.

@EdKrassen Is it over 18 or is it over 17?

The day after endorsing Kamala Harris for President, Taylor Swift asks all her fans to register to vote in the 2024 Presidential elections. “If you’re over 18 please register to vote for something else that is important — the Presidential election.” x.com/i/status/18340…

@RonFilipkowski Diapers absorb too much water?!?

What’s the most plausible explanation for why Trump has never been in a swimming pool despite owning them his entire life? #TrumpIsWeird

@JoJoFromJerz Dr. Sheldon Cooper

Name a doctor you’d trust more than Ronny Jackson.

@DavidJHarrisJr Do we know how many sutures were required to close the gaping wound to his right ear?

They tried to take him out!

@Jim_Jordan Do we know how many sutures were required to close the gaping wound to his right ear?

God bless President Trump. Pray for his safety.

@Travis_4_Trump Do we know how many sutures were required to close the gaping wound to his right ear?

@LauraLoomer Do we know how many sutures were required to close the gaping wound to his right ear?

Pray for President Trump. Oh my god. Oh my god. Pray so hard for President Trump. Someone just tried to assassinate Trump at the Trump rally in Pennsylvania. Gunshots fired. I am crying my eyes out. I hope he is ok.

@DC_Draino Do we know how many sutures were required to close the gaping wound to his right ear?

Scoop from a trained sniper: “That whole thing was a fucking failure. The Secret Service got there slow, the swat team got there slow. And Why the fuck did they keep him on the stage? He should’ve been off of there in two seconds!! yet they stand him up !!! For what ??? to give the shooter another shot? Look at the old Reagan assassination attempt. He was out of there in point two seconds. Why didn’t a drone pick him up? Why didn’t another Sniper pick him up. That’s fucking bullshit. We cover the Boston Marathon fucking better than our they cover our own fucking president I’m so bullshit !! If anyone says how great of a job the secret service or swat team did .. they are full of shit. They sucked! They should be ashamed of themselves and all fucking fired.”

@thejackhopkins Do we know how many sutures were required to close the gaping wound to his right ear?

Don’t hope for “better” from me. That way you won’t be let down. You’re only going to get what I’m thinking, and not an edited version of what I’m thinking. 1. Until there has been a thorough investigation by independent parties, I’m not buying that it was legit. 2. If it was…it’s sure as hell interesting that it happened in the middle of his “people.” The whole thinks smells bad. Just think, you lie to millions of people for so many years that when it appears you’ve been shot….hundreds of thousands of people…if not millions, immediately question the legitimacy of it. The little boy who cried wolf.

@bennyjohnson Do we know how many sutures were required to close the gaping wound to his right ear?

🚨JUST IN: President Trump's motorcade leaves hospital

@LauraLoomer @JoeBiden Incorrect, there’s a Biden flag on the front of the 3rd car.

WATCH: Pro Trump protesters greet @JoeBiden as he arrives in Jupiter, FL for his fundraiser at The Pelican Club today. Not a single Biden sign or Biden flag. The man is hated. FJB!!!! GET THE HELL OUT OF FLORIDA, Joe! I’ll be sure to provide a full list of @LessingsWedding venues so conservatives know where not to go since they want to host Joe Biden.

@catturd2 Yes. Patrick Mahomes!

No - it’s impossible to find anything more annoying.

@LangmanVince Yes. Patrick Mahomes!

Has anyone found a more annoying person on planet Earth than Taylor Swift at a Kansas City Chiefs football game yet?

@michbetancourt1 @jeremyjudkins_ 5 minutes spent fueling a vehicle is nothing compared to the hours wasted on social media.

@jeremyjudkins_ 5m to pump the liquid but 5m+ more to pull in, pay, get out of the car, get back in, wait if it’s busy, etc I think people underestimate the average time they waste.

"Teslas suck, it only takes me 5 minutes to get gas." I get home, plug my Tesla in. In five minutes I've already used the bathroom, washed my hands, changed into comfy clothes, gotten a drink from the fridge, and am laying on the couch. 5 minutes is a long time to regularly fuel your car.

@grahamallen Hard to believe you need ID to purchase groceries but ID is not needed for pizza pick-up.

President Trump just finished a two-and-a-half speech, and he stopped to pick up some pizzas. He is the MAN OF THE PEOPLE!!!

@RepMTG Seems Hunter butt-fu**ed you in front of a national audience!

Hunter Biden ran from me scared. Why? Because I deliver the truth. And here it is:

@tedcruz @Harvard Tax Universities and while you’re at it, TAX CHURCHES!

Why, exactly, is the @Harvard $53.2 billion endowment tax free?