Bad Dad Jokes

Apparently you can’t use “beef stew” as a password. It’s not stroganoff. #dadjokes #JokeOfTheDay

There are too many black stereotypes.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta #joketuesday

What do you get if you stand between two llamas? Llamanated. #dadjokes #jokeoftheday

Toasters were the first form of pop-up notifications. #dadjoke #jokeoftheday

They don't watch the flintstones in Dubai. But Abu Dhabi do. #badjoke #dadjoke #joke

RT @TheMime: ...

I just read a book about Stockholm syndrome. It was pretty bad at first, but by the end I liked it. #dadjokes #jokeoftheday

What did the buffalo say to his son as he left for college? Bison

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Its ok, he woke up.

I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions. #dadjokes #jokeoftheday

I just ate a frozen apple. Hardcore. #DadmirationDay #FathersDay #dadjokes #HappyFathersDay

The shovel was a ground-breaking invention.

I wear a stethoscope so that in a medical emergency I can teach people a valuable lesson about assumptions. #dadjokes #jokeoftheday

I've been addicted to cold turkey for 2 years. I keep telling people I'm trying to quit cold turkey but nobody is taking me seriously.

I used to have a job collecting leaves. I was raking it in. #dadjokes #jokeoftheday

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees? Because they're so good at it.

My dad always told me “don’t be quick to find faults”... Good man, terrible geologist. #BadJokeFriday #dadjokes

What do you call an elephant that doesn't matter? An irrelephant

A classic from who's line is it anyway. #whoslineisitanyway

[Interview] "What are your strengths?" Me: I fall in love easily. "Okay... what are your weaknesses?" Me:Those blue eyes of yours. #dadjokes