Baibi❣️

What’s the pettiest reason someone has broken up with you?

The universe really did my mum a little dirty by not giving her even one daughter. She got married very early and ended up raising six boys. Now all of us are grown, and she has suddenly entered what I like to call her soft babe era. The funny thing is that she’s turning 50 this year, but she has the energy of someone in her twenties. The problem is that she doesn’t have another soft babe to do these things with. All the children she gave birth to are just… six grown guys who are unintentionally very boring. My mum will set up her camera, record videos, do some Gen Z dances, edit everything nicely, and then proudly send the video to our family WhatsApp group. But the reaction she’s hoping for never really comes. And honestly, what exactly do you want me to say to a video of my mum doing a TikTok dance? It’s a bit strange Makachi. She sent one on Sunday and nobody said anything. Last night she came online and started calling every single one of us out. You could actually feel the frustration in her messages. I really do feel bad for her, but what can we do, kwanu? It’s not like any of us is getting married anytime soon to bring a daughter-in-law that will join her in this soft babe lifestyle. So now she’s stuck with six sons who love her very much… but are absolutely useless when it comes to hyping her Gen Z dance videos and supporting her soft babe lifestyles😤

Tell me a story that sounds fabricated but is 100% true. ( Port Harcourt edition) don’t air me 🥹

Under my regime, once you launch your new fashion line and up to five of your designs look like what everybody and their tailor is already selling, you will be shut down. Because what exactly is the gap you claim you came to fill? If more than two designers are producing the exact same designs, all of you will report to court and prove who launched first. If nobody can prove it, only the designer with the better price point survives. The rest of you, back to the sketchbook. If your brand story and your designs are not speaking the same language, you will be shut down. You also cannot be shouting “empowering the everyday working woman” while your dresses start from ₦100k. You’ll be shut down and fined for your deceptive advertising. If your finishing is poor and you still have the audacity to be launching more collections instead of getting better, you will be shut down and sentenced to two years of compulsory and intensive design training. You will only return to the market after you pass with an above-average score. No mercy because what are we here for? If you just woke up one day and because you dress well, you decided to start a fashion brand without any training or real business knowledge, no fashion license for you. Bring a co-founder who actually understands design and the fashion business, then the state can listen to you. To obtain the state fashion license, you must prove that at least twenty people in your immediate circle can actually afford what you’re selling. The state will not entertain “aspirational pricing.” Everybody running RTW brands must think carefully before naming them. Words will mean exactly what they mean. If you claim RTW and you are operating like couture-by-whatsapp, you will be shutdown and fined wickedly. If you give your designs traditional human names like Aduke, Ijeoma, Amaka and friends, the state will conduct background checks. We will locate real women who bear those names. If up to ten of them cannot afford the outfit you named after them, you will be barred from using human names moving forward. Because if the actual humans carrying the name of your design cannot even dream of buying it… what exactly are you doing? Tribute or subtle mockery? You and your pricing delusions will be shut down. And if you say you cater to diverse body types, you must prove it. Either use state-assigned models across sizes or submit your casting for review. If your “diversity” is size 6, size 8, etc., you will not only be shut down, you will do jail.

Cheating is a very crass thing to do. The moment you cheat on your partner, please tell them you did so, and leave. Then, start working on yourself because you’re a very terrible person.

Sex alone won’t keep a man. Feed his soul. Respect him. Be loyal. Submit to him. Talk to him. Love him. Connect. Understand him. Everything else is just noise.

Popular social media star Kristy Scott has filed for divorce from her husband, Desmond, citing infidelity, according to TMZ. The two met at just 14, married in their early 20s, and share two children, Vance and Westin.