Banned Library

Because the library is a lazy entity, instead of sharing each update as they come we are simply going to pin this link to our website here. Come visit from time to time, we update. bannedlibrary.com

There are two types of British mystery series: "I was putting the kettle on and noticed Mr. Waddington lying among the petunias. Quite dead." "We found the head and testicles next to a bag of crisps. The rest of the body is scattered among the petunias. Not self-inflicted."

Did you know the library has a blog? Neither did we! bannedlibrary.com/blog/2024/8/9/…

The library looked at the calendar. Shit, man, summer solstice reading is almost done. Back to school coming. Four Horsemen quad-annual meeting scheduled for November. This year is flying.

The state that just banned Judy Blume thinks the Republican party is too much.

OH CAUSE HE'S CANADIAN duh

The library is disappointed in the Internet. Not one "Kamala Harris and Wolverine" campaign poster? #DeadpoolAndWolverine

The library is excited for AI to take over the abusive customer service opportunities while at the same time pissing off the worst abusers so much that when they find a real person they are ten times worse because they are so unpleasant this is their only interaction.

The library can't believe it. Turns out you don't defeat trolls with anger or information. You just gotta tease them about f**king a couch like the weirdo closet freaks they are. Swords still may work, though.

It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of an adamantine skeleton, must be in want of a beer, bub. *Snikt*

LOOK. JUST... just hear us out. Pride & Prejudice & Wolverine.

The library will be on nap time for the next hour or so. If you need something, go to the post office.

The library no longer has any Marvel movies on the shelves. All checked out. We do have Derrick and Melissa, two preteens who will fill you in whether you like it or not.

Deadpool and Wolverine is the Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back for the Marvel films. You don't have to have seen every movie to enjoy it, but you'll miss 80% of the jokes if you have not. #DeadpoolAndWolverine Also, remember when these hashtags had cute graphics?

In our language, the library calls these "crunchitorts" or "yambonns" if ya nasty. Our language is wild and free and created behind our house when we were six to communicate with the little squirrel that lived under the dumpster behind the club where mom danced.

You too can join the library's friends with benefits circle.

The library will now be playing Ghetto Superstar at high volume. Happy whatever day is the week this is.

Remember, if you see our old logo on a service, it's because we rarely use it, and we don't update it. Or only one patron uses that product, they are friends with the director, and staff are patiently waiting for them to die so we can unsubscribe and stop wasting money.

Fun summer solstice reading facts, by the numbers: 500+ sign ups 208 completions already 4 missing 2 presumed dead 1 man in our pear tree slowly singing Lana Del Rey to a blue bird

The library is coming to the conclusion that the only ones that learned anything from 1984 were the corporations. Keep everyone fighting and telling on one another and we'll never agree to burn them all down.