Ashley Bartlett

My wife just mixed up Karol G and Carole King and I’ve never been such a fucking lesbian.

Listening to the Jesus Christ Superstar soundtrack on vinyl with my wife and (autistically obsessed with Jesus) trans kid and honestly this might be the closest to god I’ve ever been. Also we’re drunk

Get yourself a mother-in-law who tells your wife she’ll drop by at 10 am “but let Ashley sleep in. She needs it.” And when she arrives and you’re in bed asks, “should I jump on Ashley?”

This year instead of yelling to torture my in-laws I pushed a button on their microwave that makes a 10 sec musical tone at random every 20-30 seconds

Signed the contract for book ten. Do I get a reward now?

“Your job is to be a dick” -Stacia Seaman

Solidarity is our gay boy neighbor asking “do you guys have a WNBA game tonight?” when I ask if we’re having another round

I’m at Sacramento Pride watching Meghan O’Brien scroll her phone while Angie Williams flirts with everyone walking by (to sell books). Perfect marriage. No notes.

I just found out that my aunt did not, in fact, spontaneously ask about the new gold embellishments on my Viking beer helmet. She was COACHED to do so by my wife. The betrayal!

My wife has started mansplaining things to men and it gives me unparalleled joy. The men do not feel the same

"Given how much mileage Taylor Swift got in the past out of her decision to speak out on politics, the idea that she will remain silent would seem to make her past speaking out, at a more convenient moment, appear cynical. It’d be regrettable if her engagement with the world of politics were just another of her eras, and one from which she were willing to move on." Read the full column here: bit.ly/4glDvAT

@taganshepard Bro I had a beer with a former student last week and they literally quoted him! It’s like you never even watched my lecture for BSB

@bartlett_ash I mean…he’s a white dude with stupid hair who buttons the top button and isn’t a drag queen so I *think* I actually get an extra stamp on my gay card for not knowing who he is 😂

Not to be 100% lesbian on main, but who the f*ck is this guy???

@KrisBryant2014 Judging people. Looking fly. Reciting poetry.

If you could do any Olympic sport that you think you would be good at - what would it be?

So proud!

Join me, with @boldstrokebooks authors Clifford Mae Henderson & Ash Bartlett! Thurs, 7/18, 7pm Fabulosa Books 489 Castro St. San Francisco (Castro District) I’ll be discussing One and Done, a Black, Queer, Higher Ed, Bay Area romance. 📚🌈 #FabulosaBooks #CastroDistrict

I’m so fascinated by generational differences. My gen z sister has a 14% response rate on text messages, 98% on phone calls, and 100% on FaceTime. Well, presumably on FT. I mean I’ve never voluntarily used it but I think she’d for sure pick it up

@KrisBryant2014 A properly used semicolon is hot af

How do we feel about semicolons?

My dad is dead and my wife is arguing about misogynoir and women’s basketball with her dad. Happy Father’s Day!

@taganshepard @SacPride @KCRichardson7 @fsmith827 Are you calling my town a ballsack, Tagan?

@bartlett_ash @SacPride @KCRichardson7 @fsmith827 Very excited for you but also sac Pride makes me giggle 😂😂 sac 😂 😂

I’m back baby!!! I’ll be at @SacPride this weekend! Come say hi and buy my book and tell me my outfit is cute. (@KCRichardson7 and @fsmith827 will also probably have cute outfits)