The Standoverman

When Michael Jackson died it was like he was the first person to ever do that

I don’t expect you to be man of the match every week, but what I expect from you every week is the deezayah

u gotta be addicted to something otherwise life isn’t interesting i swear

You can't threaten a sane Ugandan with hell; HELL has more functional institutions than Uganda...

The Doctors have presented their case. The economists have done the same and now it will be in the hands of a S.6 dropout to determine the passing of the bill. #SovereignityBill2026

Madrid fans are the most ungrateful mfs ever. Barcelona’s fanbase is much better. They wouldn’t treat Mbappe like this.

told leng cashier to keep the change and she said I was £2 short

Me as soon as the WW3 recruiter comes to my house

@Realer134 @ninyeKatatumba They said virgin boys.

@ninyeKatatumba Tell us more

Dear virgin boys... The vagina is actually lower than you think 😂😂😂 Yours truly!

final exams are wonderful because I get to see students I’ve never seen before in my life

Always craving for something inaccessible, a shawarma at 7 am, mental stability at 3 am, fries at 10 pm

I go to uni in one of those towns where the uni is the sole thing that’s there and I’ve always wondered how regular people and families live in places like that.

Believe to feel alive

Adulting is realizing you can't skip work like you skipped classes.

Fuel prices are gradually increasing, now 5370. I will not be dropping any babes home until Iran opens the Strait of Hormuz. Thank you for your attention to this matter.

An "adult spelling bee" would really humble a lot of you.

OneDrive: “your file is saved” Me: “oh cool where is it?” Onedrive: “where’s what?”

Distance plays a big part in why America is the way it is. They would never be so bold if they were close to the scene of their crimes imo. Their citizens don’t feel the effects of what their country is doing to the rest of the world directly.

When I was a child, I thought that if my salary is $4K a month, I’d have $12K in three months

In your 20s, you'll feel a strong urge to fix your relationship with Allah, it's not random, it's a sign.