beaver
1K posts

beaver retweetledi
beaver retweetledi

I'm 52 today!
reflections on observations & experiences:
- Growing up in Soviet Union behind the iron curtain and under the relentless communist propaganda. Eventually seeing through that bullshit. Watching the USSR fall apart. Going abroad at 18 and seeing firsthand how that damned capitalist West lives 10x better than we mighty Soviets did.
- Living through paradigm shifts: the birth of personal computer -> networking -> web -> decentralization and the birth of crypto. Grateful for the front row seat to the crypto one thanks to Vitalk.
- Living in Grozny (17 years) / Moscow (10 years) / and now in Toronto (25 years). I like Canada, it's polite and peaceful. And now we have legal weed and dozens of magic mushroom shops in Toronto (also selling DMT and 5meo vapes). Yay, eh?
- Russia bombing my hometown of Grozny into ruins, killing or forcing all the Russians it purportedly was protecting to run away.
Eventually Russia went full Nazi and attacked Ukraine. Slava Ukraine!
- Watching and nurturing (and sometimes freaking out over) my three awesome kids from their babyhood into childhood into teenagerhood and one already into the adulthood and world-changinghood
- Trying my hand at a few startups/businesses, with a whole bunch of failures, moderate successes and eventually one decent exit
- Meeting and befriending so many amazing humans. Successful, struggling, confused, happy, suffering, messy, constantly changing entities - just like me and you and totally unlike anyone else.
- Growing up with no idea about drugs (except the worst one - alcohol - all around me as the favourite escape of Homo Soveticus). Eventually at 17 learning to use alcohol to "manage" my own emotions too.
Then in my late 30s discovering cannabis thanks to my jolly Canadian friends.
Eventually discovering psychedelics at 42, thanks to the gigabrain Sam Harriss and his book "Waking up" on spirituality - and eventually doing tonnes of experimentation with them. Now rarely tempted to pursue any of the above but free to play with them when it feels like it.
- Loving and learning many languages, lately with the Duolingo app (4001 days streak as of today - roughly the same as Vitaliks Ethereum streak), without really practicing most of those languages or needing them in the modern world of AI translation
- Shifting through many different stages of "my worldview" (Google "ego development theory"). Gaining lots of knowledge, aggressively defending the correctness of my point of view for years and eventually seeing the illusory nature of all knowing. Healing many traumas and eventually losing the idea of traumas. Doing tonnes of personal development, getting into spirituality, seeking enlightenment and eventually peacefully laughing at the idea of finding anything but this infinite already what is.
- Going through a few relationships and a couple of marriages. Loving and being loved. Blaming and being blamed. Hurting and being hurt. Cheating and being cheated on.
Relationships are such powerful triggers that can bring us to our knees into deep suffering and resistance - or open our hearts deeply.
Unexpectedly single again now - while still hopelessly in love!
- Living a pretty healthy life, lighting weights for 34 years and then hitting some crazy unexpected health challenges at 50, having to stop lifting weights and rethink my approach to staying fit.
- Mastering the skill of discipline in many areas of my life. Eventually seeing the ways it was misused and messed me up and discovering the ultimate (impersonal) power at the opposite end - impossible helpless surrender.
- Recent acceleration of AI with a growing excitement about the advent of AGI and then ASI. (We are so f*cked! Why not!)
- ...And I am not dead yet! Looking forward to (and scared of) (not really) the next 10 years of human progress bringing more change than the previous 50.
And seeing clearly that there is no progress but simply constant chaotic unstoppable flow.




English
beaver retweetledi
beaver retweetledi

You can pretend
That you can
Feel what
Others feel,
That you can
Walk in
Their shoes,
That you
Are empath,
That you have
A special gift
Of knowing
The other ..
But only if
The pretence
Of knowing
Your self
Is fully intact.
The illusion
Of knowing
Another is utterly
Dependant on knowing
Yourself.
If this certainly
No longer appears,
The delusion of
Separation disappears too.
The aloneness
Is complete
And undeniable.
To the empath
(I thought of myself as one)
This may sound cold,
And heartless,
Devoid of heart,
Or compassion,
Or love.
And yet
The wonder,
And the mystery
Is that
This complete
Aloneness
Is the most
Obvious
And doubtlessly
Unconditional love.
@ClissTim

English
beaver retweetledi

@dimabuterin Everything is and isn’t; everything matters and doesn’t; all is everything and nothing. That’s the truth and beauty of this world.
English
beaver retweetledi

And after
All the effort,
All the seeking,
All the striving,
All the hoping
To find ..
It's found
That there's
Nothing
To find.
Everything is
As it is,
And isn't,
Without
Exception.
And although
The disappointment
Is undeniable,
There is an
Inclusivity
And unconditionality
In the end
Of searching
That feels
Like love,
A love that's
Everything,
And nothing
At all.
Wholly irrational,
Yet doubtless
Love.
- @ClissTim

English

🚫 @jack has unfollowed well over 2000 people, so this bot won't send an alert for each.
These are the 3 remaining accounts: @stella_assange, @elonmusk and @Snowden




English
beaver retweetledi

So many people don’t understand why I’d do this…
Those people are poor
Nick O’Neill@chooserich
Rich person rule #17
English









