beverly

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beverly

beverly

@beaverly

trill/steeze

rip city Katılım Temmuz 2008
0 Takip Edilen73 Takipçiler
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folks
folks@bluntswdad·
operator: what is your emergency? woman: please help, some men broke into my home operator: not all men are like that, i wouldn't do that
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Clovis Ledbetter
Clovis Ledbetter@secondperiod·
I keep trying to go to sleep, but Mariska Hargitay won't stop solving ALL THESE CRIMES.
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beverly
beverly@beaverly·
Just saw a band perform that was like System of a Down tried to make the Me and You and Everyone We Know soundtrack. It was AMAZING.
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beverly
beverly@beaverly·
"You can check in, but an alligator will eat your corpse before you can check out."
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Jim Gaffigan
Jim Gaffigan@JimGaffigan·
Protesting the building of mosques and a Burn-a-Quran Day? Gee, anything else we can do to prove to Al-Qaeda we ARE infidels?
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beverly
beverly@beaverly·
@ediekaemmerlen Yes! A creepy dude was trying to sneak up on me but these kids @ the gas station saw and alerted me, scared him off. :(
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beverly
beverly@beaverly·
"I could have paid HALF price for a WHOLE Asian." -DMD
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beverly
beverly@beaverly·
THESE HOUSE FLIES ARE OUT OF CONTROL, IF THERE IS A GOD WOULD HE BE SO KIND AS TO SMITE THEM ALREADY
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beverly
beverly@beaverly·
Why buy the cow when blah blah blah
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beverly
beverly@beaverly·
I hate the crusade for a new deodorant. Nothing feels right and I smell like weird, powdery, sour fruit.
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Mindy Kaling
Mindy Kaling@mindykaling·
I'm constantly showing all my cards all the time. I'm like holding them backwards.
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beverly
beverly@beaverly·
Embarrassed that Cee-Lo even recorded a censored version of the new jam. "Forget You," indeed.
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beverly
beverly@beaverly·
Back to work at Lush! "Yeah, moderately priced soaps are my calling."
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beverly
beverly@beaverly·
@gimmeardelle Dude. I work at a SOAP STORE and I can't bring myself to up my hygiene game. We also sell dry shampoo, so you know..
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Jim Gaffigan
Jim Gaffigan@JimGaffigan·
Goat Cheese: "Hey you know that disgusting animal you'd never eat? Check out what we did with some of it's breast milk!"
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