Ben Palacios

Haunty is the new spooky

A costumer service rep just called me “Mr. Pelosi”

PUT YOUR VENMO ON PRIVATE YOU SICK BASTARD

No piece of comedy is as funny as your friend accidentally saying a word a little bit wrong

Try saying the word “ointment” in a sexy voice

“Species” is pronounced…

Clay statue

Just woke up

Haven’t made a music video in 9 years, but here we go! This song is about my grandmother. Enjoy. youtube.com/watch?v=HY49W-…

Yeah yeah yeah cool cool cool but what do you *actually* look like

Votey votey vote vote!

Yup, that’s me! 🐊🐊🐊 variety.com/2022/artisans/…

All these gays who think Bros wasn’t ______ enough, or was too ______. Please make a gay romcom too. The more the merrier! We need your stories as well.

How do you think all the *other* Mahals feel when all we talk about is the Taj

Pour maple syrup into the peanut butter jar, eat it and thank me later

pass.

Hats off to the homies who towel off in the shower to keep the bathmat dry. I see you. You’re fighting the good fight.

Barber translation: “Wow you have the BEST hair” = mediocre at best “Welcome back! It’s been a while!” = you look like a trash goblin “All done! Whaddaya think?” = literally nothing else I can do bye

I got cartoonized! Thanks #joefreddieart. Original photo by @kevinmcd_ps

Ever plucked out a nose hair? That’ll make you reevaluate your existence.