beven slay

I hate the term “we got off on the wrong foot” because there’s no such thing as getting off on the wrong foot

A woman’s job is to provide for the family, a man’s job is the hit and 8 leg parlay on the Iran war

If you a man and you work from home you gotta be a lil zesty

She asked me my fav position and I told her I’m typically the A rotator

If my roommate steals another one of my bananas I’m j straight up gon use it on him

Tampon string got her looking like woody from Toy Story

@driftlobster Hol up

Fuck the fame, fuck the women, fuck the money I need LinkedIn connections #yessir

Mfs will buy a $100,000 Silverado and only thing haul is they fat ass wife

When they gonna let other animals in the Kentucky derby the horses been getting boring

I’d rather have a DUI than a kid rn

Bosnians be like “I speak 5 languages” and 4 of them are Serbian

If you posted nature pics on your story for earth day you’re a fucking retard

Do you guys eat hot dogs for the shape or the flavor?

I hope my car breaks down so they send me a toe truck 🤤

If you shop at aldi I fw you

Cloning ur pet is like save scumming a roguelike

Hasan piker the real life Brian griffin

Computa bring the sparkle back to my eyes

Genghis khan hadda have hella sack to be putting out all them kids