BFP Burner

"You know how you can buy used nascar sheet meal? Do you think I could buy Toni Breidinger's seat insert?" -anonymous

This one relatable fr

Getting pussy is not a gentleman's game

It is at least once a day I call someone driving a Jeep Wrangler a retard. Is being a retard a prerequisite for buying one???

Of course the dude with dreadlocks at the walmart gym smells like he's never heard of deodorant 🙄

No babe, the fricken chicken koozie stays ON during sex

Idk who this is on my snap chat discover but her wedding sounds like it's gonna be fucking lame

Anytime I see a Jeep Wrangler with a bunch of rubber ducks across the dashboard I want to steer my truck into their lane and hit them head on.

Megan Moroney's uncle died in the 9-11 attacks. I will no longer be participating in 9-11 jokes. Thank you for your understanding.

I just saw an obituary for a dog on Facebook. These white women are out of control!!!!

Oh no the hawk tuah girl is actually retarded

"Do you think they'd play this at the strip club if I requested it?" -me, listening to the slow country song called "she's somebody's daughter" or some shit

Me and like 6 white girls all be posting the same songs on our IG stories. thats so rad

What's the new obsession with girls taking shirtless pictures with flowers in front of their boobs? Not mad about it. Might actually open up a flower shop

@bfp_burner Himself

What did Grayson Murray shoot on hole 17?

If you post a snap or IG story of a stack of cash, I am rooting for you to get robbed at gun point

The fact that Caitlin Clark is so good at basketball makes her so sexy to me man idk

I don't care how nice @sydney_sweeney's blitzkrieg boppers are, I will forever be an ass guy. 🍑

I ain't Aaron Rogers cause I'm still on that pack (word someone my color can't say) Still got 12 on my mother fuckin back (same word someone my color can't say)