
Just came from a chat with one of our lead engineers and felt genuinely lucky. On our team, pair programming is not just about code quality, it is also about relationship building, and that part is easy to miss if you have never experienced good pairing. A lot of people, managers included, do not get this part, so it gets framed as two people doing one job, or it turns into this narrow productivity argument.
But the low stakes time together adds up. You build trust, shared language, and empathy, and then async work gets easier, coordination speeds up, and feedback lands better. It also helps with social isolation for some people. Remote work can be great, but it can get quiet, and having a built in way to collaborate really helps.
We try to use pairing on purpose, mix up who you pair with over time, and focus on work where two brains are actually better, debugging, tricky refactors, onboarding, and messy ambiguous problems. Counterintuitively, it can matter even more across time zones. When communication is mostly async, understanding your coworkers context and point of view gives the team that extra cohesion that people think remote work is missing.
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