( ノ ^o^)ノ

Girl like me is gonna fumble the bag more than once

Me after 13 years of being a good dog when I suddenly decide I must be hand fed sandwiches

Don’t worry I know what the Instagram looks like now

I’m trying to order surf taco online with a screen that’s half black and I keep accidentally ending up on the surf taco YouTube channel bitch take that shit off your drop down menu!!

Soccer with coworkers that don’t like each other that much >

Sexy to somebody It would help me out

If you throw up your birth control pill because you tried to be quirky with a sugar rim I heard your baby comes out perfect

There’s no way that drinking a moderate amount isn’t a net positive

I AM FASTER THAN YOU

It’s always gonna be fuck the person walking next to me at the exact same speed.

Attending a conference in the state of New Jersey now 🇺🇸

I’m sort of like if an untrained pitbull that dog fights could shit it’s pants

People just don’t appreciate how hilarious it is to look awful in public

@gramclaynor Liked

I will not be caught dead wearing crocs u guys are crazy sorry

We All Have rare diseases Some of us just don’t want to know

One hair in my nachos shame on me but two hairs in my nachos, shame on you

Why don’t any of you follow my owl city fan account

my workplace has a "wellness" room and it's just this weirdly long room that obviously used to be a storage space that looks like this

This tweet does not absolve you of your evilness for dating him. You are bad BAD BAD

What more could I ask.

I always knew I was supposed to be a 25 year old and here I am