Clown Sexpert

I already found the meaning of life. It’s eating little sandwiches and watching the sopranos on a 43 inch roku smart tv

The ballet canon’s message to women is that you cannot put your trust in a man even/especially if he loves you and the ballet canon’s message to men is that while novelty may seem nice you should actually stay in your hometown and marry your mid but loyal girlfriend

I think intense retro subculture stuff like the swing revival is adorable and occasionally heroic even. Sure man!!! Let’s have fun and get wacky with it

Love most period mystery tropes but Fake Seance has to be one of the best

They literally enclosed an AARP membership offer with my latest issue of my classy little tea magazine

Love engaging in historically accurate activities like Reading A Magazine

I was meant to be an aging demimondaine

It’s kind of sad that I’m so terminally single because whenever I’m just hanging out at home I’m wearing vintage or historical lingerie and looking so good in it and it’s so sad that nobody is getting to see it :/

Recently watched the graduate for the first time and it’s lowkey just Der Rosenkavalier

He’s like a sexy little sunny little scarecrow to me

Watching all the way through mad men for the first time and I’ll say that while he’s an interesting character Don Draper does nothing for me sexually. The hottest man in this show is, and please don’t yell at me for this, Ted Chaough

Women used to be named Ernestine

Listening to Mahler 2 and drinking red wine in the bath. Can’t believe you can just do this

Very very hard to be hanging out with someone and then to just be hit hard with the realization that they do not give a single fuck about you

It often happens that I go out alone and then end up meeting and hanging out with a cool older couple. I will not be analyzing this further

All the people who live in my phone are Funny and all the people who live in my TV are Pretty and me? Well I guess I’m Wise

Pony by Ginuwine is an Amazing song!!!! What happened to him!!!!

Been way too long since I’ve heard someone say “have at thee”

Drawing sword to fight an evil priest: I believe you’ve Maundied your last Thursday! Have at thee!!!