eri 🍃✨

Ophelia after all was amazing

Tried to start reading the sequel to a ya book I used to like and couldn’t even make it through the first page because of the way it’s written

Scored a guy who loves eating out 🥰

Me when I apply to a job and don’t get an offer immediately after hitting submit at 10pm

Going slow >>>>> having sex on the first date for me personally

Rewatching new girl and I think it’s exactly what I needed right now

And honestly extremely proud of myself for choosing honesty and openness because I’ve tried to deal with every issue in my life so far alone and it hasn’t exactly worked out so

Thinking about how my 90 year old great grandfather said he was ashamed on behalf of his gender after he heard what happened this weekend

Tried to talk to one of the people who were at the party on Saturday and the way he just thought it was funny or whatever genuinely made me feel so much worse. I barely remember anything I just know I didn’t want it to happen

Got way too drunk and taken advantage of last night and it feels absolutely horrible. I don’t even know what the guy looks like. I can’t remember what happened either

Suddenly feeling so lonely it’s almost making me suicidal again 🙃

Have reached the conclusion that I need to study something involving math because the dopamine hits to my brain every time I do math tasks is unmatched

Deleted the dating apps and idk what to do with myself when I’m bored 🤠 and also I’m lonely so sometimes the validation felt nice but ultimately it’s not worth it so.

Anyways I need to learn how to communicate, and set and enforce boundaries because I’ve followed along with way too many things I haven’t wanted to do because I don’t know how to say no and I need to be able to communicate what I want

Haven’t been remotely interested in anyone since (wasn’t really that interested generally before I got involved with him either, I was ready to give up dating entirely, which I might ACTUALLY commit to for a while now)

Removed the last guy I fell for on Snapchat because I needed to let go of any possibility that he might come back (bc he won’t and if he did I shouldn’t be with him bc he literally left for someone else) and even though it’s been over 2 months it made my heart hurt 💔

I think I’m just gonna have to learn how to sew my own clothes at this ponit, I’m tired of never finding anything that fits. And if it “fits” it’s too short because no one makes clothes for 6’1 women🤠

Will forever be a little bit in love with luke hemmings

Worst part is it made me feel insecure about my current body AND my past one. I HAVE been fat, and now I’m not

Was in bed with a guy and he commented on how skinny I was and asked if I’d ever been fat?? Like what the hell, emotional damage 🥲🥲