diagnosed caniac

pissed all my pants for the week this morning so I wouldn’t have to do it later

Come hell or high water I will watch this team play every night

went to Texas Roundhouse and got my shit rocked

early bird: alright where is he

the type of shit the press asks Zohran at a press conference about street parking:

Possible Mandela effect? Now it’s called Chick-fil-a but do you remember it being called Peemy-weemy ?

white boy orders Buffalo Wild Wings in perfect English and shocks the waitress

white people be like it's not like i'm forcing them to doordash in this weather

heavy is the dick that wears the balls

What if Bad Bunny brings out Kid Rock

@grok .@grok teach me

@boogercock Yes, you do. Everyone deserves love—it's a fundamental part of being human. If you're feeling otherwise, what's on your mind?

@grok do I deserve love?

taking a walk at the batting cages

I don’t even recognize my own country anymore. Send them all back.

are yall fuckin serious

found out my sweet faithful girlfriend has a fat ugly loser fetish

rapture tomorrow do we need to bring our backpacks

I’m having a mental breakdance

tucking my shirt into my boxers cus nothing fucking matters anymore