Chris Grogan

@TreyBangTheDrum @SwisherSweets why are you dressed like a dirty old Cuban?

@TheHussell @JRTracy316 it's lip syncing

I have always tried to live my life according to the way, the truth and the Skynyrd and I could have sworn it was Sinful Man.

While imitation may be the highest form of flattery it is by far the most annoying

My roommate just started a story, in all seriousness, with "This one time I was dating this one girl". That is the worst beginning ever.

The moon hangs like a toenail clipping in the sky.

@Lunchys I just had the same conversation on class earlier this week. I think it's about 20-30 thousand dollars in Wichita

Stopped by the Pump&Pantry and Mary, the mature Navajo bitch cashier, has not been doing her job #maturenavajobitches

@Lunchys Danger Zone!

Has anyone ever had a great weekend and then your like "fuck, I guess I'll just go back to shity NE". No. No. Ok, me neither. #goddamnNE

Jeff just fucked Jared's ass so hard that Cameron blew his load on my leg. #St.Claired

Never go to the Applebee's in York, NE. It smells like rotting garbage and they can't even mange to get mac and cheese right. #badbeesness

I am going to feel that tomorrow #slowpitch

Grown men who can't grasp the concept of "extra credit" probably shouldn't be mechanics #justsayin'

One of my favorite things to do is tell someone "you're a fool and here's why"

I'm reading on a bench, beating away a constant stream of gnats, listening to some jackass vomit in front of the dorms. #classynebrasky

Top bunk isn't as cool as I remember

"Wisdom", because "wiseness" just sounds too close to "wise ass"

Some one needs to make a movie about a possessed shirt that makes the wearer drink too much and physically abuse people, but I need a title.

@Lunchys @Brockshirley @kevin_shhh @TreyBangTheDrum *fast