bossmansays

Are you losing more weight? Your butt looks smaller.

I'm like an asshole, I've got an opinion on everything.

I don't know who I'm more afraid of, blacks or hillbillies.

I don't understand why anyone goes to Detroit. They kill you going and they kill going out

He's like horseshit all over the track. (Scatterbrained)

If he buys & pays I could give a shit less if he's a homosexual.

They're not clean. They don't wash, old people.

"You two should talk, you share the same sperm." (To 2 fellas who had dated the same broad in the past.)

The doctor did more bloodwork today to make sure the first test wasn't a positive negative.

Plumbing used to be a pain in the ass with the old copper lines, now it's that PCP.

It's a winner-winner-chicken-dinner.

I'm like a Duracell battery, I keep bouncing back.

My wife is heartbroken, she lost a dog she probably loved more than her children.

Tell her we don't sell filters. She could ask for pants, we don't sell pants.

"Don't fall in love, you're already leaving early today." (In other words, don't take too long at lunch with the sales rep.)

"You're only still married because you're a wimp.

He's not an asshole, he just doesn't know any better." (His son, JBG, who has been explained "better" until we are all blue in the face.)

I didn't read the note, I saw the note.

"They have to be drinking themselves stupid knowing that they were only a cunt hair away from 70 million dollars."

"You can't make chicken soup out of chicken shit."