brandon jensen

How did that typo make it past quality assurance

@MrSAAerobics At that point they probably want to carry the ball full term

ladies, what’s stopping you from removing this ball?

Who is Andrew Taint

1.5m people viewed your tweet, 27 liked it, 3 developed a deep hatred and quit their jobs to focus on making your life a living hell

I am that I am that I am that I am

Lensa really did me dirty on this one

Does he know how to use the app he bought

Not sure who needs to hear this but call 911, you are having a heart attack

Caller says a female is putting raviolis in his gas tank.

Feeling underdressed

musicians are annoying

This Fourth of July we salute the fat drunk dads and their embarrassing wives that still cling to the dead dream that’s America and the corporate colonialism that has finally become the only thing that holds this corpse of a country together Have an Independence Day from arbys

The personal growth section in two books

Now let’s give those fetuses guns!

Is there a Groupon for vasectomies?

At least we’re solving mass vapings

@robdelaney Blocked

I follow one (1) account

it’s been a challenging few weeks. and my husband still wants to wait before we get another pug. 😡 so please, if you have an ounce of love in your heart, please send me pictures of your pets or i’ll deactivate twitter. all of it.

Pretty crazy that in reality TV, if a murder happens the crew can’t intervene. They have to let the humans exist in their natural habitat

@RubinReport “Our system allows choice…which dems hate.” Yeah dems hate choice in this argument. Way to go, nailed it.

This doesn’t just go for abortion. It goes for taxes, police, education, virtually everything. Dems want top down govt to force everyone to live the same way. Our system allows choice and variation, which they hate. Hollywood Dems can fund abortions in CA for out of staters.

Remember, this is more about federal v. State power, than legality of abortion itself. Some states will allow for abortion, some will have restrictions and some will outlaw. This is the constant American experiment in action. You can go to a state in line with your values.