little bastard

Liam Payne died falling off a roof. Sad, one direction killed him

I think Kim Jong-Un would be scarier if he were skinnier

The hotel @AmericanAir gave me a travel voucher for which I got to is fully booked after spending over $40 on an Uber to get here. I just want to get home

I hope the man I was on the phone with gets a paper cut and poops himself at his desk

@AmericanAir makes me understand asking to speak to a manager.

At the bottom of my heart there is blood

I hope Drake keeps being Kendrick’s muse, he’s so good at it. I can’t wait to see what’s next

pumped to be headlining Fallout Theater July 20th bring your aunt and uncle and coworker and their friends let’s sell this bad boy out my bots eventbrite.com/e/fallout-come…

@davemartinez98 Thank u!

Happy wcw dynamite to you @britneyled the glamorous and beauty of the world

I LITERALLY NEVER CARRY A CARD ANYMORE #sketch #apple #commerce

@davemartinez98 I would say hello and give u a hug

@britneyled what would the one and only Britney Ledesma do if she saw me in person?

They talk about old money but no one talks about new poor

@davemartinez98 100% luv u

@britneyled Britney is hot and sexy New York, babe. If I do meet her, I need to get a picture and an autograph from her. 🫠❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥

Can’t get into prebiotic soda. I dream of a different drink

HAPPY SEXUAL ASSAULT AWARENESS MONTH!

Life hack! #venmo #klarna #sketch #lifehack

I wanna be the 5 min crafts of comedy

@davemartinez98 Thank u!!

Happy wcw dynamite to you @britneyled the glamorous and super sweetness fabulous woman in the universe. Hot so glamorous

Big news, I just came out to myself as a size medium