self employed college grad

I just remembered the time in high school I sent a guy friend a link to a song called "crawling back to you" and all he sent back was "Are you trying to tell me something?" and tbh I'm still salty about it. I just wanted to share a cool song, not marry you

“General Kenobi”

It’s that time of year

Happy weekend to me

I throw up every single time I eat Olive Garden but lemme tell you, those new oven baked pastas are making me debate whether or not it’d be worth it...

Trick question: She said all three

Guess which of these weird things my mom actually said about me today

My dad was on the phone with his mom trying to figure out who’ll be home tonight so she can come over: Dad (to me): Any plans for New Years? Me: I might try to scrape up a date Dad (to his mom): Shelly will be here all night

This perfectly encapsulates my adult life

Lady: What number are you? Me: 38 Guy: You look great for almost 40!

So I’m in line for my flight and I ask a man “What number are you?” because I’m polite and don’t wanna steal his spot in line. He says, “7” and I say, “Ok, I’m 6” and he looks me dead in the eye and says “Hooray for you” and I honestly don’t know if he was sincere or being a jerk

@emilygcochran As a former homeschooler I can confirm this is true. We were also never taught how to wear anything other than denim skirts or camo.

I’m convinced that homeschoolers were never taught to chew with their mouths closed.

@KariOkie__ You still dance exactly like this

I had the coolest dance moves in 2001