Bryce Dube

all friend I am love have you for this TITLE . we are CHASMPION they are bum!!

Me biking around with my pet basil plant so I don’t have to murder a mosquito

Imagine not killing a mosquito that is sitting on your arm sucking your blood

Is @TheOldestAnimal the trigger man behind Abe Lincoln’s murder??? They call him Jonathan but never mention his full name. He was born 6 years before the “real” John Wilkes Booth. He may very well be the perfect get away tortoise

Kenny Powers is my spirit animal

Adios bubble butt

But all the ass magic in Mexico can’t change Kenny Powers from his core beliefs. I’m not an ass man. I’m a tit man. I like big ass boobs… Now and forever

if a komodo dragon gave me a bacterial infection in the wilds of indonesia i would simply clean the wound and move on

🕺 Bidi bidi bom bom 💃

I STILL BUMP SELENAAAAA WHEN I GET DRUNK

@StoolGreenie He just keeps proving he is MJ’s son and we keep ignoring it

Hat tip to Jimmy Butler. Insane shot maker

And on Sundays we go to church aka ripping bowls in the sun and listening to the music of Jah

Pats are trash, my fantasy team is trash, I’m trashed. 9 o clock feels like it’s 12 hours away. I need to hear swords clashing right now

Looking for an arborist to come drop a tree on me

It’s Time. 😈⏰

I need a ride to Guitar Center right fucking now. All I do is drink beer and sing the blues anyways

I’ve heard some fucked up lyrics before but “well I took some pills and she took the dogs” has gotta be the absolute worse

Tyler Childers. That’s it

Just an unbelievable hat to wear to your HoF induction. King.

Malcom Brogdon could voice Obama in any animated show/movie that has Obama in it