Brad Stulberg

My new book The Way of Excellence is out now. You can buy it here: wayofexcellencebook.com Writing it changed my life. I hope reading it does the same for you.

@hubermanlab @danawhite @davidsenra @scicomm I wish David would have asked Dana about his recent remark “I hate all this men’s mental health stuff they talk about.” x.com/BStulberg/stat…

Incredible discussion. @danawhite on @davidsenra podcast, brought to you by @scicomm

I mean seriously, that's a test for is this a serious person or not. Dude has "peptides" in his bio and believes he knows more about what Luka Doncic needs to return then Luka Doncic's/Laker's medical staff. Just because you want something to be true doesn't make it so. Dude has cognitive obesity.

@mackinprof The biggest problem here is not the pronouns in your name it is that you are a serious scientist arguing with with a guy who confidently posted "choosing to get PRP and not stem cells is the biggest reason Luka Donic won't be back in the playoffs."

How much “muscle” are people actually losing on Ozempic and other GLP-1 drugs? The first thing to understand: Lean mass is not the same thing as skeletal muscle mass. That distinction matters.

@StevenQuartz I guess my work and writing is for people who are predisposed to choose these paths then. (Tone can get lost here, like actually that’s who it’s for!)

We know what mental health consists of - anxiety, depression, and problematic behaviors associated with those (substance abuse etc) and there's a robust correlation between people who choose highly uncertain goals with large opportunity costs and poor mental health along those dimensions. It's well-documented among entrepeneurs, elite athletes, elite students, etc. There's also a U-shaped curve in well-being among these groups. Those who succeed do report higher life satisfaction but that's paradigmatic attrition-driven selection. My larger point is that people who choose these paths do so via disposition. That's further reason why they shoudn't be emulated.

This may be true for trying to become super popular, doing stunts for shock value, and making videos for the internet—but it's patently false for excellence in the vast majority of crafts. Yes, you need to work very hard and have a dog in you. 100 percent. But if you neglect mental health your production will not be very good for long. People assume it's either let's hold hands, sing kumbaya, and talk about our feelings all day or totally bury yourself like a reckless idiot. But neither is how you actually become great. Serious people know this.

@JeremiahDJohns Lots of people are stuck in high school and just want to sit at the lunch table with the cool kids.

Beyond the billionaire debate, it's a real problem that every podcast is now a hugbox with 99% agreement and nodding along to whatever your guest says. Bring back actual debate. We used to do William Buckley vs Gore Vidal throwdowns. Give us podcasts that ask hard questions.

@StevenQuartz @SomerwilTara Again, I think you are confusing sacrifice/tradeoffs/living a traditional life with mental health.

I’ve known many - they are a perfect example of why almost no one should emulate them. They have virtually no life off the bike, are never home, live like monks, and most never come close to a professional victory. The Pogacars and Steph Curry’s of the world make it look like fun because they are the rare outliers in an already heavily selected cohort. Then there are the 98% of college basketball players who never get drafted!

I quit my job to try to make it as a writer and now write NYT bestselling books. I am not balanced. I work extremely hard. And if I deprioritize my mental health everything suffers within a few months. I think the trap you fall for is you think mental health means holding hands and singing kumbaya and working from 9-5 and watching sit coms. But that’s not at all what mental health actually means. I would define mental health as the absence of thoughts/feelings/urges that repeatedly hinder your ability to find flourish and enjoyment in life. When elite performers work toward this (often with the help of therapists) they generally get better not worse.

You underplay the fact the elite achievers are attracted to highly uncertain goals that have enormous opportunity costs. Its dispositional. It often has costs for mental health - and for most people pursuing such goals would be a mental health disaster. Thats why elite achievers should be admired but not emulated.

@Janastas How does society define mental health in this context?

@BStulberg The way society defines “mental health” in this context, 95% of people who make it to the 0.1% level of success in whatever field are not “healthy” mentally. They are not deep prioritizing it. It’s just not what they care about as a metric/KPI.

@Janastas I never said anything about work-life balance, which I actually think is a terrible framework altogether. My comment was on deprioritizing mental health, as if that’s some kind of badge of honor.

@BStulberg Disagree. 95 percent of people I know worth over $50m defied the societal definition of “healthy” work / life balance.

@SheaSerrano incredible.

woke up thinking about wemby’s 4th quarter

@jonbma Love this (and thank you for grabbing the book!) Who is your Yoga teacher?!

@BStulberg This quote above was shared at Yoga today in NYC and immediately looked up the book and ordered. As a startup founder who wants to lead with joy, your quote really resonated. I want to win but also have a ton of fun. Thank you for your gift. Look forward to reading tomorrow.

"One of the greatest competitive advantages is having fun. Joy and intensity can coexist, and in the best performers, they almost always do." — The Way of Excellence. bit.ly/4uCzeQ7

Well this took off. If you are a dude who is sick of manosphere bullshit and are looking for serious ideas on how to perform and live better in a crazy world then I've got a book for you. I promise it will help. bit.ly/4uCzeQ7

@hamishmckenzie Hey Hamish! I think you may be referencing a post from The Way of Excellence: amazon.com/Way-Excellence… x.com/BStulberg/stat…

I saw a wise post about how important it is to not focus directly on a goal. Success comes as a consequence of following what you care about, and enjoying the work needed to create something great in that pursuit. Emily’s story is an embodiment of that principle. She didn’t set out to create New York’s hottest newsletter. It happened because she cares so deeply about the work she does in service of, and along with, her community.

@KevinDeShazo That’s a very generous read. I mean he opened with “I hate this whole men’s mental health stuff they talk about.” (Also, who is the “they?!”) I agree that online therapy speak and romanticizing mental illness is counterproductive, but that’s not what he said.

@BStulberg I took it (trying to assume the best) as criticizing the performative stuff we see online. I think there's a difference in seeking help and telling your story hoping it benefits others, and filming a video to put online about how sad/bad your day was in order to get attention.

Men die by suicide at 4x the rate of women and one of the biggest drivers of that is that men are less likely to ask for help. Dana White is proof that you can be very rich and still an idiot.

What I wish I knew when I graduated—37 rules for living an excellent life in a crazy world: 1. The best way to stay sane is to find people and activities you love and give them your all. 2. Challenge yourself. Do hard things. It’s how you grow. It makes you feel alive. 3. Move your body every day. Eat your vegetables. (When you forget, simply begin again.) 4. You don’t find your passion and then get good at something; you get good at something and then find yourself passionate about it. 5. Don’t worship status. Lots of famous people are totally unhinged. Know your values, the things you stand for, and live in alignment with them. Do this and it’s easier to fall asleep at night. 6. Become known for your consistency. Some days are better than others. Show up. Give what you’ve got. Rinse and repeat. 7. It’s almost always better to be kind than clever. 8. Surround yourself with the right people. (This may be most important of all.) 9. Do what you can to respond, not react: You can’t always control what happens to you but you can control what you do about it. 10. Set aside time to focus deeply on work that is important to you. Remove distractions. Periods of deep-focus work are a simple but truly profound key to a good life. 11. Confidence comes from evidence. If you want to be confident about something, put in the reps and give yourself the evidence. 12. Just. Get. Started. You’re never fully ready. Nobody is. Lower the bar to ready enough, step in the arena, and learn as you go. 13. Do not worry about being the best. Focus on being the best at getting better. 14. Better is more than just objective results and points on the scoreboard. It also means becoming stronger, kinder, and wiser. 15. It is impossible to be happy all the time. Focus on living a meaningful and textured life. The irony is you’ll be happier as a result. 16. Everyone faces anxiety, fear, and doubt. Try not to let it shrink your life. Courage means taking these emotions along for the ride and doing it anyway. 17. Start where you are. Not where you want to be. Not where you think you should be. Not where other people think you could be. But where you are. 18. Life is hard and nobody is coming to save you, which is why you need to practice self-discipline; it’s also why you need to practice self-kindness. 19. Having fun is the greatest competitive advantage there is. 20. Strength without flexibility is rigidity. Flexibility without strength is instability. You need both. 21. There is no such thing as an overnight breakthrough. You’ve got to play the long game. The bigger the goal, the smaller the steps. 22. Sleep when you’re tired. 23. Motivation is overrated. You don’t need to feel good to get going, you need to get going to give yourself a chance to feel good. 24. Doing the hard thing today often makes tomorrow just a bit easier. 25. Think about money, lifestyle, and challenge. It’s almost impossible to have all three, but most good jobs can give you two. Choose wisely. 26. Don’t stress if you aren’t “balanced.” It’s impossible to do all the things. Part of being a mature adult is making tradeoffs. It’s okay to have different seasons of life for emphasizing different activities. 27. What other people think of you does not matter nearly as much as what you think of yourself. 28. The pursuit of greatness isn’t only about where you end up. It’s also about the person you become along the way. 29. People who say that money doesn’t matter are full of it. People who obsess over money are miserable. Money is a thing. But it’s not the only thing. 30. Don’t compare your actual life to someone else’s fiction. Most of what you see online is not real. 31. Curiosity is an antidote to fear and boredom. Never stop learning. Find mentors. Read books. Be interested in things. 32. The best relationships and pursuits make you forget about yourself. 33. Nobody escapes life unscathed. Everybody faces periods of pain, hurt, and feeling lost. Don’t be scared to ask for help. We all need it from time to time. 34. Keep the main things the main things. It’s true in craft and it’s true in life. Define your priorities. Pursue them relentlessly. 35. Being nonchalant is lame. Same with being too cool to care. Risk something. Give a damn. 36. You are going to fall off the path. Everyone does. When this happens, do what you can to learn from it and get back on. Do this over and over again. 37. Life is long. You never know what’s going to happen next. Keep going.

This is a key insight in my book. I call it the 48 hour rule: After a big victory or a tough loss, give yourself 48 hours to celebrate the win or grieve the defeat, but then get back to doing the work itself. Excellence lives in the process: bit.ly/4uCzeQ7

@_MetsMetrics Read the below and tell me what points you disagree with and why. Re: Steve Kerr, I wrote a book about excellence and he's won 9 NBA Championships and Two Gold Medals. Many others in NBA, NFL, BJJ community also love the book, so I'm cool with it. x.com/BStulberg/stat…

Calling Dana White an ‘idiot’ for saying men should provide, lead, and not whine on social media… while your book's biggest endorsement is endorsed by Steve Kerr the guy whose team is reportedly sick of his constant virtue-signaling B.S. Kerr is what a real idiot looks like. x.com/bstulberg/stat…