calamity || edtwt

I want to get a plane ticket to some place overseas so I starve like I did over Christmas and get back to 36kg

in a way I get angry because I'm jealous that they were able to overcome this awful disease and I'm glad that they didn't succumb to it I'm going to hell just for my pure jealousy

like I'm probably going to end up in jail. I'm miserable, every waking moment is b/ping, getting food to b/p, waiting to b/p, planning my next. I've almost died so, so many times and I'm useless to society

I get irrationally angry when some people try and relate to my ed with having ana/mia for like a year or two it doesn't diminish their struggles and they're 100 % valid but they CANNOT understand the absolute anguish and misery of pure addiction to b/ping, coming on a decade (1)

how to recover from almost 12 years of bulimia no glue no borax

@meowlimic 8- you realise you lost 10kg but you can't walk 9- get hospitalised because now you have a blood infection 10- get back to the b/p cycle and gain the weight back anyway FFS

@meowlimic 4- gradually get scared of eating anything you don't weigh out meticulously 5- break on the way home and binge 6- you get gastro and can't keep anything down anyway 7- binge causes refeeding syndrome bc you didn't eat for 2 months

how to quit b/p without gaining weight or slowing down weight loss no glue no borax PLEASE

@corpsindresss just be glad it wasn't ur bf ❤️

throwback to when I shat myself at the hospital (as inpatient) and the nurse had to wash my shit…. I was so embarrassed omg

@meowlimic @moonsfaeriies yeah I'm probably gonna get a police visit at some point

not enough people talk about how much of a financial burden bulimia is and it makes me wonder wtf yall are doing to not go into debt & constantly be stressed about finances because of your b/p addiction. you cant possibly all be rich or stealing

@d3lxbby wait review rn.

literally found caramel macchiato protein yogurt goodbye

@YvTsl babes the SAME THING was happening to me a few weeks ago+last year probably different reasons but it was a combination of kidney+liver damage and malnutrition (deficiency of a specific protein)

So I was discharged awhile ago with no real answers to my legs but my potassium is low (like always) and I have a UTI????? My legs look a lot better but now they are burning and on fire 😃😃

I think I scared my family and my bf too much now I'm b/ping again and I desperately want to get down to my new lw I looked so thin

@pinkhaired_cass it's such a sad existence and I'd rather be dead but I don't even have the energy to die

@pinkhaired_cass oh babes you'll get good at it but it'll be the only thing you do. it's your only hobby, the only thing you can talk about. the only thing that your brain can actually think about. I don't feel human any more but hey at least I'm underweight

guys I'm home and FREE

I feel like this is niche but eating with my hands instead of cutlery (obvs not like cereal n shit)

@smiskieater did you just move here?? followed though <3

U m are all of u following me Australian

the other ed patient actually has an ALLERGY and they only gave her like two more vegan options after she went into anaphylaxis ARE YOU SERIOUS

Does anyone else find it insane that you can't be fully vegan at this hospital as an ED patient??? They changed the rules for snacks/add ons and ALL the options except for soy milk have dairy I'm intolerant and I'm having 5 cups of soy a day just to minimize the dairy/lactose