cal (next era)

caltracat on tumble caltracat#2595 on discord caltra.portfolio on instagram uhhhh that’s it lads that’s where I am most days

It’s been 2 hours since I wrote this and I’ve been woken up 3 times

everyone tells me I’m gonna get used to it but honestly I just want it to be quiet

the other new starters chose their apartments before coming here, so their friends saw their apartments for them, and they moved right in. I decided to look at apartments after arriving, so I thought that I could avoid making wrong choices or whatever. another girl and I ended up in apartments right across from each other. I didn’t really like the layout of the place, but it’s still very nice, a bit closer to the metro to go to work. I ended up in this place; I completely fell in love with the layout and the materials. the former tenant left her furniture so I don’t have to deal w delivery issues like everyone else. I’ve got plates and bowls and a couch and a tv and a washer AND dryer. it’s amazing and so, so, so nice. it’s a bit smaller, but it’s so modern, and so pretty. The thing is, I didn’t realize how much I could hear the road. I’m right over the road, and it drives me crazy. my view of the sunset has these other buildings in the way, and I’ve got this road noise that I’m figuring out. everything else is ideal and gorgeous, but I’m so pissed at these two things, concretely. today I asked her abt her place. she’s on the west side of her building, which is across the road from mine, so she gets both the perfect view with no obstruction and no road noise. I cannot understate how much stupid jealousy I feel. Like I still feel like I did something wrong, by not taking initiative like the other folk and choosing a place before arrival, like not anticipating the road noise combined with floor to ceiling windows would mean that I get less sleep, which means that my home, despite me liking it so much, is not the quiet safe haven that I want it to be. I keep wanting the others to find something wrong w their places, just to feel smug and proud, like I’ve got something up on them. It’s so gross. This isn’t a competition. We’re all trying to make our lives here work. Why do I want to feel like I’m winning? Why do I feel like I have less than the best?

In Russian you say “organism” to mean “a human body, medically considered”, and native speakers can make the mistake of using the word in English too. So you’ll have a Russian person catch a cold and say “something’s wrong with my organism” as if they have a basement homunculus

Jenny has a cap sun and Scorpio moon and her general vibe is so off putting, so full of distaste, yeah that’s an unhealed version of both of those things

I remember seeing another interview of rose like “what would you say to your 16 year old self” and she said “well nothing, bc she was a bit of a badass” and yeah duh, that’s exactly the vibe of the person who would put out APT

one of the first things I learned in Korean class is how to read Hangul, and of course the name “Jenny” is super easy to write. 제니. super easy. “You know, Jenny? Blackpink Jenny?” yes I do know! “Oh you like Blackpink?” No, I just have thoughts on Blackpink

Btw in Russia, the whole “who got to the moon first” was completely ignored culturally. Like, they got gagarin in space first, who cares abt the moon. Space is still theirs

the answers are closer than you think . and they will only occur in spaces of love

Embarrassed to say I've not heard of Kay Nielsen hitherto, but now I'm compelled to get his art book published by @TASCHEN. Such beautiful illustrations ! ( link in comments below )

Everyone lamenting the decline of Western culture should take an active part in preserving it. Go to classical music concerts (the tickets are often surprisingly cheap), read classic literature (which you can find for £1-2 in secondhand shops) and go to art galleries (often free). The only way to protect our heritage for the future is to appreciate it now and show others that they can too.

Found this on Pinterest and it made me unbelievably happy.

if you have hair loss, try to deal with it immediately. once hair follicles die, many do not return. take care of yourself, before it’s useless to even try.

@kramerposts I will never be able to discover what I care about

Anyone in the mood to play a game? This one is called “meme, anti-meme.” The way it works is, you reply to this with a negative idea or fear and I will reframe it positively. (It can be something from the culture, doesn’t have to necessarily be a personal belief or fear) The catch? I will only do this if I genuinely believe what I am saying to be truthful. Okay, that’s it. 🧩 GAME ON 🧩

“College is for networking and landing a lucrative career.” No. College is for broadening your cinematic & literary horizons, being exposed to the best that’s ever been thought or written, going mad with joy in the library and learning what a small person you are in a big world.

@made_in_cosmos I grew up in one of the 3500+ places and I can say that it’s possible to resent the sun, and resent happiness. Sometimes I just want proof that time is moving and that the sun can go down, and something else can take its place. Happiness all the time is exhausting too

I live in a city that gets 1600 hours of sun per year and I still cannot comprehend this. There are entire weeks when I do not see sun at all. I think I'm staying on top of this, until the spring comes and we all suddenly remember how it's like to feel alive again

used to be ashamed of how routine & habitual i am, like the workers i saw would hate me for popping in so frequently, but the ice cream scoopers at my fav shop were SO excited the first time i ordered a single scoop instead of a kids’ scoop