Mothica (⁠･ั⁠ω⁠･ั⁠) recov/healthy wl?

i dont know why i am so negative towards myself, i never think these things about other people, why can i see their beauty but not mine

me as asf body checking knowing damn well nothing changed

i actually feel so big today my arms and stomache are huge

i feel so bulky rn lol

@Zazanonohehe ed insta was my first ed acc. circa 2016-2018 for me ;3

WE GOT EDINSTA NOW???

i did it once, i will do it again

okay i wanna track in may since it is the first.. how is a good question tho. maybe wl app?

im kinda glad im in this grey area with my ed. i like staying healthy and put together. thats what i wanted from my ed, just to be small and cute. i can do that without turning myself into a zombie. just gotta get over the negative thoughts in the back of my head

@lostinlabryn girl congrats for locking tf in!!! but please stay safe make sure to take a meta week if u need 💗 (to minimize damage ofc)

same shirt, 3 months later, -45lbs. #edtwt #weightloss #ana

i dont even know if i wanna get to 110 i just want to be under 120/118 again

this time when i lose weight i wanna try to wear tube tops. i feel like it didnt look good before bc i had short hair and my chest is so flat when im between 110-120lbs but if im working out this time i should still be okay

healthy weight loss after an ed is ao annoying i know i can lose this shit within a month but i dont want to be a walking miserable zombie

weight loss tip : if you dance until u cant no more every day it helps u lose while still eating what u want in moderation lolll

i lowkey feel like i wont be triggered anymore once im closer to 120. like i feel guilty for eating but at least im not tearing myself up over it. im also still eating pretty well since ive been dancing and working out. no worrying = no binging with steady loss. epic.

@Ihateekai it is but her small chest makes her look smaller i think. if she had a bigger torso or chest i think she wouldnt have been used as thinspo (I LOVE CHESTS OF ALL SIZE YALL DONT JUMP ME)

Genuine question is this not average

@oxytociins ur blonde stripe is so adorable stay safe queen 💓

I have a tummy ache and a deep fear of change

i have a feeling my bf knows abt my account and is looking at it. which i guess isnt too bad. i hope not tho. if ur reading this i love you im trying my best to stay healthy

i actually cannot believe that i ended up with a lifelong trauma disorder from the stupid bitches who treated me like shit when i was just a child. i genuinely wish i could sue them. like wtf man you ruined the way i process and interact in daily life. like wtf is wrong with yall

Gen Z is preferring losing weight instead of having sex.

im just kinda stunned. i knew my childhood fucked me up but i was never physically abused so like idk. i feel like im faking it but im literally wired differently. i cant exist normally. i wish i could shove it in my aunts face. it was mainly her fault.

ok so my eval came back and i was diagnised with "Other Specified Trauma and Stressor Related Disorder" which is basically a fancy term for saying i didnt meet ptsd criteria but i am still severely suffering. my doc said the only thing i didnt have was flashbacks i think.