Carly Danner

Them: AI is taking over the world. My Phone: Hey man, I tried to update last night. Not sure what happened. Failed again. Sorry. Maybe tomorrow. Kinda tired now so who knows.

cutest picture I’ve seen in this baseball season

sometimes if u want to make friends u have to go out past your bedtime even though you are so sleepy and your cat misses you

Tridents up 🔱 Brooms out 🧹 The @Mariners SWEEP Houston and are in the driver's seat in the AL West!

It’s so funny when athletes try to sing along with the national anthem but the singer is just going on crazy riffs

My gym knew what they were doing putting national treasure on in front of my treadmill

It’s unbelievable how much work goes into having a mid physique and relatively clean house

I hate when movies with famous actors have them play normal people but other famous people still exist. What do you mean Matthew McConaughey is a farmer in this world but there’s still a Brad Pitt reference. No. You acknowledge everyone or no one

Josh Allen getting choked up as kids from Oishei Children’s Hospital congratulate him on winning MVP is everything. What a video this is. 🥹 (🎥 @BuffaloBills)

I always feel so special when the pilot smiles at me when getting off the plane. Like they’re a celebrity

Corporate America loves the word comprehensive

Jenny walked so gen z could run

@saltydalty55 Good luck tiger!! Remember: head on a swivel today

Recent updates: Found out my cat is left handed (pawed) Moving back to Seattle Cr***head stole my clothes but think I’m getting them back today from prison (:

Who knew I’d laugh exponentially more watching the presidential debate than the rerun of king of queens that was on earlier today

@DomLind10 That sounds sick shoutout your subconscious

@carlydanner Yeah I played soccer with SpongeBob and Wiz Khalifa on Air Force 1 and then 2 minutes later had to get ready for work

It’s so funny how humans fully hallucinate while asleep, like insane story lines and plots and we’re all just like haha hey man had the craziest dream last night, you were brutally murdered by a kid I went to 2nd grade with. Anyway what’s goin on with you

I cackled