hazelwood

can we talk about how girls giving handjobs is also abusive

I feel like pH paper is the ultimate litmus test for whether a substance is acidic or not

I’m a man of my worm

I might clown around in the lobby, but when it comes to gameplay and sheer technical skill there’s no one better to have in your corner and if well… you’re against me? then I pity you.

chaining myself to the wall of a sewer and absorbing poop vibes until I become basically a living poop

Kinda crazy to see a stat ur just a part of

Real

low iron ass bitch, i bet you cold rn

women are so pretty

i went to super eater and everyone recognized me and complimented me on my skills

sometimes u just gotta say weird shit and not worry about what u mean

Annoying 😳☹️ And gay ☹️

getting head scratches is the best thing ever even tho it makes it really hard to think

derp xD :P

it’s christmas and all i’m thinking about is you

sorry babe no sex rn, the groupchat is active and i'm trying to get my joke in before they change topics

my favorite thing about me is i always say normal things and do normal things and act normal. and ive never strayed from that

gaslighting someone on accident because i have a bad memory

it’s cool when you meet a woman who has normal-seeming social adeptness and then you talk to her for more than 30 minutes and realise she has weapons-grade-autism