Causewayed

@huysvanlei @gothburz ✊🏻😂

@gothburz Yes, but it's your talent to find the perfect, striking words for this. Describing a situation with civilized sarcasm makes it irrefutable.

I am the Secretary-General of the United Nations. We are facing imminent financial collapse. This is different from our other collapses. The moral ones. Those are ongoing. This one is about money. We have $1.57 billion in outstanding dues. That's a record. We hold many records. Largest bureaucracy per resolution passed. Most languages spoken per problem solved. Highest catering budget per genocide witnessed. We're very accomplished. The United States owes us $4.6 billion. They pay 22% of our budget. They get one vote. Same as Tuvalu. Population: 11,000. Very fair. China pays 20%. They also get one vote. They're on the Human Rights Council. So is Cuba. And Eritrea. And Sudan. We take human rights very seriously. We put it in the name. Of the council. That's the important part. We could run out of cash by July. This would affect our operations. Our operations include: Watching. Expressing concern. Drafting resolutions. The resolutions are non-binding. "Non-binding" means optional. "Optional" means ignorable. We're very influential. In 1994, we watched Rwanda. 800,000 people died. We watched. Very thoroughly. Our peacekeepers were there. They kept the peace. By leaving. When the killing started. That's called strategic withdrawal. I learned it at a conference. In Geneva. With a buffet. The wine was also very good. In 1995, we declared Srebrenica a "safe zone." 8,000 people were murdered. In the safe zone. We investigated ourselves. Found room for improvement. Improved the catering. At the next conference. In Vienna this time. Our peacekeepers went to Haiti. To help. They brought cholera. 10,000 Haitians died. From the help. We expressed regret. Regret is free. Unlike the $1.57 billion we're owed. We have a rule. The rule says we must return unspent money to member states. At the end of each year. To the states who didn't pay us. I call it the Kafkaesque cycle. "Kafkaesque" is what you say. When you have a literature degree. And no solutions. We are trapped. Expected to give back cash that does not exist. To states that didn't give it to us. So they can not give it to us again. Very sustainable. Like our development goals. Which are also unfunded. And also not achieved. But very goal-like. The President of the United States says we have "great potential." He launched a rival organization. Called the "Board of Peace." It does what we do. But without 80 years of institutional failure. Very competitive. We have 193 member states. They vote on resolutions. The resolutions condemn things. Strongly. Sometimes very strongly. The condemned things continue. But they're condemned now. That's progress. Our Oil-for-Food program had $1.8 billion in kickbacks. To Saddam Hussein. We investigated. Found 2,200 companies involved. Prosecuted none. Wrote a report. Very comprehensive. 440 pages. About the money we lost. While asking for more money. From the same countries. Who lost the money. With us. Our peacekeepers have 2,000+ sexual abuse allegations. Since 2004. We take this very seriously. We issued guidelines. The guidelines say don't do that. Very clear. The allegations continue. But they're against the guidelines now. That's accountability. Please pay your dues. Or we will have to cut programs. Programs like: The Commission on the Status of Women. Chaired by Saudi Arabia. In 2025. Very progressive. We maintain international peace. And security. And human rights. You can tell by the wars. And the insecurity. And the human rights. Please send money. We promise to return the unspent portion. To you. Who didn't send it. That's the rule. We made the rule. We can't change the rule. That would require a resolution. The resolution would be non-binding. I'm not good at math. Or peacekeeping. Or human rights. Or cholera prevention. I run the United Nations.

@StuartCan_NI @sophielouisecc @Rik_w2010 🤣

@sophielouisecc @Rik_w2010 Mad that they’re charging £125 to give members the illusion that they stand a chance of being selected and that they haven’t already decided at least a shortlist of who is going to be the candidate.

A £125 application fee is crazy They are pricing working class people out of politics All about making money for reform

I am a committed trade unionist of 35 years standing. I am proud of everything the trade union movement has achieved throughout history. But its abandonment of women fighting to defend their sex-based rights makes me ashamed. Whenever there is a successful tribunal or court result for women - such as today, with the Darlington nurses - mainstream unions are nowhere to be seen. And invariably they lament the outcome. Women are being forced to rely on the Free Speech Union and Christian groups to fight their corner. It’s an utter disgrace.

@StandUpForTrmp A

🚨BREAKING: Elon Musk has been nominated for a Nobel Peace Prize for protecting Free Speech. Simple poll. Please be honest! As of today, how much do you still trust this man? A. 100 % B. 75% C. 50% D. 25% E. 0% MAKE THIS GO VIRAL ON 𝕏. LET’S GO 👏

Lot’s of Cheddar Cheese 🧀 on the menu for Whitehawk next week 👨‍🍳🌟 instagram.com/reel/DTTVMzXDI…

Bonjour, David Lammy. Bit chilly today. Hope all well. 73 courtrooms empty today. 3 more than yesterday, and 73 more than my heart can handle. Sing along at home if you know the words. Could we open them? Instead of restricting jury trial for thousands of people? Please?

@sykesjeff Beautiful

This is my best ever photo I’ve taken, what do you think?

@sappholives83 Hi

Y’all, I’ve been shadowbanned for days now. Say hi if you see this? Hopefully it will help with the algorithm.

👨 Today we're launching our landmark Men's Health Strategy. This action plan will tackle the specific health challenges faced by men and boys. Men's health has been overlooked for too long. We're changing that by meeting men where they are. More: gov.uk/government/new…

@CrazyVibes_1 Yiu have been blessed with a wonderful talented son 🙏🙏🙏❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

My 15-year-old son hasn't left his room in three months. Not since the boys at school shoved his crochet project into a trash can and filmed it, posted it with "What kind of guy does this?" while everyone laughed. I'd find him at 2 AM, surrounded by patterns he'd saved from online, yarn everywhere, eyes red from crying. "This is all I'm good at," he'd whisper. His little shop online became his only safe place while kids his age destroyed him daily for doing something they called "girly." Then last week, he emerged from his room holding this gnome outfit. "For the baby," he said, voice barely audible. His first complete costume for his 10-month-old sister. Every single stitch perfect. The pointed red hat, that fluffy white beard, those striped legs with tiny boots. When the baby giggled and reached for his face, my son smiled. First real smile in months. "Do you think it's... stupid?" he asked, waiting for me to confirm what those boys said. Stupid? My broken boy had turned months of torture into something magical. I posted these photos in his online shop while he wasn't looking. Orders came flooding in within hours. "This is professional work!" "Does he do custom orders?" "Tell your son he's incredibly talented!" He's reading every comment now, crying. Happy tears this time. Talking about maybe going back to school. Maybe finding other kids who create things. Maybe those boys were just scared of someone different. To anyone who thinks a teenage boy hiding with yarn is wasting his life, sometimes he's saving it. One stitch at a time. Please tell him what you think. He needs to hear it from more than just his mom.

@PompeyHolman @Artemisfornow @SuEvison 😂✊

@Artemisfornow @SuEvison I have anxiety working 60hours a week worried sick about how to pay my tent, council tax etc!

There’s a family of 7 with neither parent working, who already receive over £22,000 a year in tax payer funded unemployment benefits, plus £560 per month in rent, (also paid by tax payers), giving them a total income of over £29,000 a year. And they are about to get £10,000 a year MORE when the 2 child cap is lifted They have far more disposable income than the average family because they have no rent or expenses for transportation to and from work. This is completely unsustainable and grossly unfair. Working people shouldn’t have to fund those who choose not to! It’s the weirdest way of developing societies, where the few work their arses off for the many. And it’s all about to go tits up 💥

If you see this Kingfisher photo, please leave a comment! 🙏♥️ Have you ever seen a Kingfisher? 🐦 I think more people have not seen them than those who have! 😊

@WestHam_Central He was MASSIVE

How would you describe David Moyes' whole time at West Ham in three words?

@SonyaDouglas @HarrietHarman 😩❤️

@HarrietHarman This is how you make yourself obsolete, by deliberately misinterpreting the most important legal ruling to affect your demographic in a generation

The Supreme Court ruling correctly interprets the Equality Act, giving effect to our intention when drafting it. Single sex spaces for women are important & can exclude trans women but only where necessary. The Act, & ruling, protects rights of women while also respecting the rights of trans women.

This kind of violent direct action is disgraceful. It is designed to intimidate people - in this case women - into silence and it must not be allowed to happen with impunity. bbc.co.uk/news/articles/…