celeste

if i’ve ever been weird to you it’s cuz idk how to casually go from “hi i’m celeste” to “i love you”

“i’m too drunk to cook. let’s drive”

is it okay that i don’t know shit about wyoming

missed my bosses phone call for a very good reason

just saw shooting stars with the love of my life

“god the markets are closed tomorrow for good friday. worst friday ever” @brocksnilloc

did a big fuck up at work and just said “oopsie daisy” idk if i’m over confident or just over it lol

i love working in quality assurance and i find a problem and then am told “it’s always like that” mf it shouldn’t be!!!

i got a big ass head

“you’re dumb” why “you’re gonna marry me” - @brocksnilloc

dayum girl you lookin like a kay jewelers open heart necklace

@xxcokeandredrum 10/10 would steal your phone in theater class again

kinda love having a dog w anxiety so when people come in to the house to do repairs, i have an excuse to hide and continue to not wear a bra

*buys gummies on the way home from the appt*

love seeing the attempt of hidden surprise when i tell a new dr that i don’t want meds for adhd lol

if a doctor has a weird headshot, idgaf about their education/experience. i do not want you to be my foot doctor if you have a bow tie and heavily slicked down hair

fr getting to click those bubbles and see the check mark when you accomplish The Thing is so damn satisfying and motivating

jade and beck in victorious always made me feel weird when i was a kid. now i realize i had a crush on both. the signs were THERE

pet insurance exclusions. “they didn’t say anything about extra terrestrial events tho” -@brocksnilloc

dream/nightmare blunt rotation. philomena cunk and aubrey plaza

sending funny videos to my boss that’s sitting 10ft away and making almost $20p/h wbu