Cait

Coworker: hey how’s your online dating going?? Me: oh man it’s so awful. MD I work for: If I were on the dating scene these days I’d probably be that weirdo that has a picture with nipple clamps .... 🙉🐢 oookkkaaaayyy lol

It’s 37 and feels like 26 and I’m still only wearing a light jacket and refuse to get out my coat

💗that when you grieve so ferociously, it means you loved that ferociously. & being a person who loves so ferociously is a good thing to be. You’ll grieve harder. But the alternative-numbness and self-protection, isn’t an alternative. Grief means you’ve been brave with your heart

We love to say women are “crazy” instead of addressing the thing that puts them in the position to lose their composure.

@agoertzen One of my biggest pet peeves.

Sent this gif to a dude and said this is me and then he said “ew. Sorry that’s gross”. Just an FYI this is the same guy who doesn’t have a bed frame and said I can have his dick instead of a massage. If the last 2 weren’t deal breakers, this one is. I like food. So Byyeeeee 👋🏻

When a guy asks you for a massage and I ask if I can get one in return and he says he doesn’t do massages but I can have his dick. Bitch I don’t want your dick my back hurts too 😂

What is with guys having their bed on the floor? Get a damn bed frame, bro 🙄

I guess I’ll never understand how it’s possible to have billion dollar lotteries and such high levels of poverty, poor health care, and homelessness all exist within the same country at the same time.

When you thought you hit rock bottom...but then something worse happened and now it’s rock bottom... or at least I hope it is cause idk how it could get any worse....only up from here, right??

I miss my smile so much. I hate that you took it from me when you left.

I love this lady.

Haven’t been on social media all day. Get home from work and check Facebook, within 10 minutes I see 3 anniversary shout outs and a baby announcement, brb going to go bawl my eyes out #whenwillithappentome

What does it mean when your cat gives you a wet willie with his tongue?

First snow already in Chicago 😞

I’m at a dance studio and I just overheard this like 10yo say, “I got a spray tan today and my eyebrows waxed again”... is there like an episode of Dance Moms filming that I don’t know about?!?!

@todd_winger That sounds like a Monday. Sending you good vibes 🤞🏻

@ceparks02 I was late to work due to forgetting to gas up the car. Then destroyed a car battery at work. 🙄

I just cried at the DMV, how’s your Tuesday?