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@kefgis @ivymuthe Sure!Yes

@chegeharrison23 @ivymuthe It's 6m

Imagine sharing a border with a neighbor who deliberately plants his entire land with eucalyptus trees, aiming to make millions, while knowingly causing you serious financial losses.

@teddy_kiph @ivymuthe Mutina brother

@chegeharrison23 @ivymuthe Ngoja😂alikua mbwa breed gani

@Dammi_Esq Get a new breast

I got a small tattoo on my breast, which I did myself. My husband only noticed it later that night, around 10:30pm, when we were about to sleep. He became very angry and sent me out of the house over that small tattoo. Even when our neighbours and landlord tried to beg him, he refused to listen. He pushed me out and forced me to leave the house close to 11pm. I had nowhere to go, so I ended up spending the night at a church vigil on our street. I later contacted the tattoo artist about removing it, but he said it’s risky to do so now because it’s still fresh. He advised me to wait for about two months before removal. When I explained this to my husband, he told me to go and stay at my parents’ house for those two months. My parents have tried calling him to settle things, but he has refused to pick their calls. Right now, I honestly don’t know what to do anymore.

@SomoinaKapeen Sitaki kurundi tena.I am an old soul.I need to rest

What are Your thoughts on Reincarnation?

@WashiraX I like your narrations

Eastleigh is not laughing with KRA. Over the weekend, I visited my woria friend in Eastleigh. He owed me camel meat. He told me: Okuyu, kuja nikupeleke bahali yake. He took me to a camel meat joint. He told me to order. I asked the waiter: mko na nini? He said: rafiki iko ngamia tatu. Ngamia imekaangwa, ngamia blain, na ngami... Before he finished, I asked: Hiyo blain iko na nini? He said: Imechemshwa na chumvi. I told him, niletee ngamia choma. Suddenly, every head turned to our table. My woria friend quickly took charge. Ordered 3 plates. 2 Blain and 1 imekaangwa. I have no clue how those chefs do it. But it was the sweetest and softest meat I have eaten this year. My friend, if you have never eaten camel in isirii, I don't even know why I am talking to you. • Lesson 1: Those chefs should be arrested. Unaweza malizia school fees ya watoto hapo. As we stood to leave, I see the one and only Eastleigh mall. Immediately I remember what they did to KRA. When the mall was constructed. It cost 96 million. They also said the name Eastleigh mall is a brand. They gave it a brand value of 10% of the building cost. And called it goodwill. A whopping 9 million shillings. Total cost = 104 million. That is what they reported to KRA in their 2008 tax return. They then divided this cost over 13 years. The period to fully deduct building costs from tax. 8M per year. All legal. From 2008 to 2017, Eastleigh mall and KRA are good buddies. They even say cheers while taking coffee together. Then one morning in 2017, KRA arrives at Times Tower and finds a letter from Eastleigh Mall. It reads: • Hello KRA. You see that 104M we told you. We made a mistake. It's actually 200 million. We now have a fresh valuation report. We want to amend our returns from 2008. Tutoe 104 Million bahali yake tuweke 200 Million. KRA officer thought his spectacles had been hacked. He removed them. Saw the same numbers live. KRA asked, what do you mean? They responded: The amendment will help us deduct higher depreciation and lower our taxes. KRA rejected it instantly. It didn't end there. KRA immediately smelled a tax evasion scheme. They deployed spies to investigate Eastleigh mall. The spies seized their most critical documents. The most important being management accounts. The spies returned with a very disturbing report. There were huge understatements between the actual income and what had been declared. Angrily, KRA slapped the mall with a tax demand of 386M. The mall protested. They wrote an objection letter to KRA showing they had paid all taxes and that management accounts were just internal projections. They sat and waited for a reply. Clock started ticking. At times tower, KRA is sipping chai undecided whether to accept or reject the objection. As KRA is doing this, KRA is unaware of 1 dangerous sentence chilling quietly in the Kenyan tax laws. It reads. - As surely as the sun shall rise tomorrow. Any objection decision issued by KRA after 60 days shall be invalid. But the Eastleigh accountant knew that sentence very well. He put 60 beans in his wallet. Every morning, he removed and dropped one bean in his office tin. Day 61 reached. His wallet is empty. KRA has not responded. He rushed to the director. Bossi, KRA has not responded. We owe them nothing. Tumeshinda. Call the party. Many months later, KRA sends their reply. - Hello mall. We hope this email finds you well. We have not forgotten you. We reject your protest letter. You must pay us 400M. The mall ran to court. - They argued that KRA’s failure to respond within 60 days meant the objection was allowed and no tax was due. • The tax appeal Tribunal said noo. The 60 days is just a mere technicality. Bring us more documents for review. The mall refused to supply more records. The Tribunal sided with KRA and ordered the mall to pay KRA 386m. KRA retreated to Times Towers telling the mall na tuliwawon. The mall ran to the high court. They argued again, no response within 60 days means no tax. The good judge asked KRA: Is it true that you responded out of time. KRA nodded like this. The judge removed his spectacles. Paused. Then sided with the mall. The mall was ordered to pay zero. KRA was ordered to pay the mall legal fees. Case closed. Lesson 2. • If KRA does not respond to your objection letter within 60 days, call the party. You have won. • If KRA pushes, run to court and ask for legal costs. Courts will not hesitate.

@kiremeti @georgediano @FreddyRoymen Kihiii

@georgediano @FreddyRoymen Kang'ata is doing NOTHING.... he's useless to the development of Murang'a County.

Irungu Kang’ata has called a press conference SPECIFICALLY to declare that he won't defend his seat on a UDA ticket. What does that mean... GROUND NI KUMOTO MANZE.🔥

@MrBeast Ok

If this tweet has exactly 1 like in 24 hours I’ll give that person $1,000,000

@ArchibongEkeng1 @OgadenSoldier Ok.Alien species

@OgadenSoldier Just look at the uneducated punk, fidgeting like a cow, can't even make a well coordinated statement without stuttering, these are the sort of idiots that intend to do highly skilled jobs of foreigners, one that can't even express himself, such a shame, lazy ass chipmunks.

A Black South African Zulu warrior tries confronting a white store manager in South Africa. This time, he is calm, civilized, and stuttering over his own words while speaking to the white man.

@MoraraKebaso Punny ass mathafaka

Hard times build tough men. Tough men build easy times. Easy times build weak men. Weak men build hard times.

@r3kras Allien

TRUST ME THE CYBERTRUCK IS…

@EWN_star @MsMiriti A very weak husband.Kinuthia.Either anadinya huko nijee to satisfy his ego ama uko nakaben ten

@MsMiriti I do not even make my own breakfast, everybody in my house knows and adjusted. In the event I don't have a house manager, husband fixes breakfast for us. 😅 Even in my father's house I never did. Siwezi kabisa.

if i’m up at 5am getting ready for work and there’s a grown man just sleeping there waiting for me to make him breakfast I would literally lose it .

@kokiimichii Yes qwa couter,before you pay.

I have an ask , mtu akiweza buy something like bread kwa supermarket , anaweza anza kukulia ndani alafu akifika kwa counter alipe ama lazima alipe kwanza???

@aakinyiomondi @Nyambuscov_ @Thriving_luos Jaluo jinga

@Nyambuscov_ @Thriving_luos But the men and few women who reason like you will walk around thinking certain ‘killings’ are justified? And what ukweli will you tell the women killed by their husbands? Stop this myopic reasoning

Huyu ni mtu anataka kuingia politics sijui women rep where spearheading isn't a woishe agenda,a woman dies horrifically but you are here initiating gender wars,waambie wanawake ukweli,the victim is gone the girls need advice that can prompt hem to make better choices in life tsk

@LlewellynOuya Finya hio mtoto fupi kama jwanga yake

You think being a nurse is an insult? I have done Actuarial Science with IT, CPA and Medicine & Surgery.. huwezi niingilia mambo ya IQ juu umezoea kuona watu nikama kila mtu ako na low IQ. Enda tetea umalaya na huko

@Honeyfarsafi Ww ni mbwa taktaka .kalipukee nahuko somali

Wewe sasa unataka kuniambia nini na matako yako chafu disgusting inatembea hii tl mzima haha

@LlewellynOuya Leo ata naweka qwa MMF..Leo nakuunga mkono

Then why exactly did you tell people not to go to statehouse? Was it not for their own safety? "Ata tukienda kuandamana statehouse it will never be a reason to kill anyone".. so why did you advise people not to go? Si ungeenda ulale uchi statehouse tuone.

@KhalifKairo A weak kinuthia writing this.Ngui

You know its a society full of weak-men when people celebrate & seem to justify the killing of a person especially a young defenseless woman. Its the duty of strong men to protect women and children morals not withstanding.

@NanjieGalgalo We hate harlots ,aborters ,indisciplined women who think men are their equal.

Enyewe men hate women. This TL shows it so often , gosh 💔

@Keruboooo We love pussy

Men hate women very bad!