chloe

Venmo me @ Chloe-Ferber thanks in advance

I feel like if I don’t go soon it’ll just keep happening to me

Literally why is everyone talking about surfing Betty’s on the tl there opened one near my house and I feel like there’s an influencer conspiracy afoot

Ugh I wish I was the one who got bitten by the shark at assateague that guy is so famous now he’s probably going to get a bunch of free stuff

Some days you make money at work and some days you don’t so you eat a rotisserie chicken in the grocery store parking lot with your hands

@TheNewJack_ Fuck I was afraid of that

@chloeferb It’s actually very good. #ad

Ok

sometimes all you need in life is a beautiful brown-eyed woman telling you what to do

@shawtyastrology You’re the only astrologer I believe in

💎 the rising signs & moon signs in astrology that might feel more luxurious, abundant & receive something expensive over the next 2-weeks because of the new moon in taurus: ♉🌑 • taurus risings ♉✨ • aries risings ♈✨ • capricorn risings ♑✨ • libra risings ♎✨ • virgo risings ♍✨ • cancer risings ♋✨ • taurus moons ♉🌑✨ • capricorn moons ♑🌑✨ • virgo moons ♍🌑✨ • pisces moons ♓🌑✨ • cancer moons ♋🌑✨

men used to use u for ur body now they use u for ur music taste and swag

so chronically online i can tell when a tweet is stolen from a reel and when a reel is stolen from a tweet

Okay he didn’t ignore it he was probably asleep because he’s old he came in to my job and sat at my bar for like an hour heheee

He ignored my Facebook instant message. This is the equivalent of being stoned out of the Berlin Wall.

I have a crush on a 50 year old man idk how to go about this he’s like… 50

Feta stuffed olives in my dirty lemon martini… groundbreaking discovery, my martini movie nights just got sooooo good

@no_one__wins Porque no los dos

@chloeferb Or burger

Not sure what to get for dinner so I’m letting the clock run to make my options as little and as shitty as possible

@no_one__wins Answer is always eggs

@chloeferb I’m not trying to be skinny though I want to be beefy! I’m just indecisive rn and I don’t know what I want

It's been a pleasure miscommunicating with you

this wound needs more salt

I drive a fuck ass 2016 Hyundai sedan and it was $53 to fill up my gas tank I’m about to start walking bitch