mo

He's not even trying anymore...

[having a heart attack in a restaurant] Tell my wife... I had a salad

ME: You win some, you lose some WIFE: Where are the kids

[creating a clone of Beyoncé] lmao Beytwicé

Thanks. 😬

I got twitter blue and my wife came back with the kids

April fools.

@chuuew Thank you for your service

I'll never salute you, you son of a bitch

@dorsalstream I logged on for this??

After several years of careful research I can confirm I have wasted my life

April fools.

Still queueing up to high 5 the queen

We thought boris johnson was bad but liz truss killed the queen on day one

Leo DiCaprio tearing up royalty checks because Titanic was released 25 years ago

April fools.

@AngrySkycrane I didn't notice that text at the top before. No idea what that means 😂

April fools.

@KellsPlayer Doesn't quite have the same ring to it