New Year, New Vape Juice

It’s about DRIVE. It’s about POWER. It’s about CRYING IN THE SHOWER.

@FerpectOval Wife checking in

To the 3 or so people that read my tweets one of whom is my wife, I've uninstalled this app finally, I'll kinda be on the butterfly one, @ferpect0val

@coll2mitts It was never a phase, mom

Has there been some kind of recent genre reclassification that is rebranding emo bands from the early 2000s as pop punk? Or do people just not want to admit they listened to emo music? Lol

The USA solved the trolley problem by defunding rail transport, and then shooting everyone tied to the tracks.

@FerpectOval @amysw_sec Ladies (and gentlemen and non-binaries and any other identity) find yourself a loving gentle man who gets blown away by basic human compassion, you won’t regret it.

@amysw_sec I absolutely love getting flowers. @claire2themax and I basically alternate buying each other flowers lol

“Paw print tattoos have the same energy as an adult Tweety Bird T-Shirt” - @FerpectOval

Genuinely baffling that someone could only know him from these two things

Mewing with @mrsmalfoy333

@FerpectOval and I just got out of state baseball game tickets because there’s a @carlyraejepsen concert after the baseball game.

Out of context chaos with Claire and @FerpectOval

We’ve talked a lot about solo journaling games on the show, and this is by far our favorite. Highly recommend checking out Anamnesis by @BlinkingBirch. One of @claire2themax ‘s rare 10/10 games.

Usher on roller skates and a Ludacris cameo. Couldn’t have asked for more with this halftime show.

Whenever there’s a new slang or pop culture thing, I test it out as a pet name just to see how @FerpectOval reacts. He’s currently mad at me, so “my little Skibidi Toilet” is firmly in the “no” column.

Pussy so fat he became a beekeeper.

Midwesterners toxic trait is thinking “the rear defrost will take care of that”

@bingomilf @mrsmalfoy333

Murder on the dancefloor…

I’m gonna be honest until like, last week I thought people were losing their minds about hockey not weird cups

The Iraqi government is formally moving to remove US forces from the country, after: 20.83 years 4,400+ US Casualties 40,000+ Iraqi Combatant Casualties 1,000,000+ Dead Iraqi Civilians And all of the unfathomable human suffering behind those cold numbers. Yeah, we should go.

We got our first wedding gift today and I’m about to be a fucking monster.

Annual art.

@branden_FP @bigdickmeg Ok fine I won’t sing dashboard at you whatever

@claire2themax @bigdickmeg Okay

I stand by what I said. I love her but what the fuck.