classicpenguin

brb too busy tryin to find dat blue asshole #weeknd #reminder

how to be savage 101: make pass at girl, her bf goes wtf we're on a date, then go: "mb I thought you were her brother lol" lit af

I feel like #TheWeeknd tries too hard to sound like a bad boy in his songs. He be singing about depraved shit no one can relate to lol

this oatmeal cookie is so good I feel like schwarzenegger launching a nuke in those mobile strike commercials

someone needs to teach a class: how to get nudes 101. fukkin joined instantly

my last few tweets I sound all bitter and shit lolz.....

hate how social media is a contest to see who has a better life. like "ooo look at this slice of pizza I'm eating right now!" wow dude great

wish I could be famous online for sprinkling salt on meat...!

sometimes I wonder what it would be like if I were a blonde chick with big titties. would I have more followers?? ?? ? who knows

I want #vindiesel 's furry coat in #xxx

#drake and #jlo ??? draylo?!!! #dontknowhowIfeelaboutthis

watching transformers age of extinction. I know I'm not supposed to like this movie, but #dinobots I mean come on this is awesome

no matter what happens: I'm here for you, jesus is here for you, and adolf is here for you. #feelbetter

@stujallen @hairygit got the wrong account, maybe try penguinclassics?

is it pet smart, pets mart, or petsm art?? need to know

mercury is in retrograde? wtf does that even mean???? =(

that #trufflebutter song is disgusting. soooo nasty! why would you make a song like this!!

devoured a whole pizza by myself like a fukkin fatass. wasn't a small, either!!

but who is going to be father of dragons? #GameOfThrones

the kid in the #babadook movie was all nice when his mom went psycho lol also this movie reminds me of #homealone !