Eric

The caterpillar is a prisoner to the streets that conceived it.

@KellyKEditing I knew something was off about you.

@classik_e Delicious

Pineapple on pizza.

@susansawesome @Kalshi Totally depends on the situation

@classik_e @Kalshi Do you lick your screen directly, or do you lick your finger and then use your finger to rub off the dirt?

JUST IN: The average smartphone reportedly carries 10X more bacteria than a toilet seat

@kvlovely19 Truely living up to your username

it is astounding how stupid a person is to set off fireworks at 1230am on a Tuesday morning less than a foot from an apartment building. just happened at 10th Ave and Centre Street South behind the Calgary Tower. would have gotten video, but it was over too quickly

@UnacceptableN Nah bro, Berta as fuck. Trying to conserve resources for the new AI mega lab in Olds.

@classik_e You from India? Thats weird cause they are hairy motherfuckers and prolly have a fully matted jungle surrounding their butt hole

Shaving your ass hair can save you $300 a year on toilet paper.

If I get the parasitic diarrhea does that mean I get to take PTO and lose weight? I’m failing to see the downside in this.

Going to bed at 8:30 because there is literally nothing else you can do isn’t a vibe.

As a boss, if someone jizzed on my sheets and didn’t tell me for three days I’d be throwing fists. #belowdeckmed

@ExtraLars @BrentColman are you headlining?

Backyard comedy this weekend in Edmonton.☀️

Do you watch movies in one sitting or are you a psychopath?

@markyeg @Gillette

@markyeg We could market this to Gillette

😭 😢 🥹

@sarahbyyc @BrentColman No chuckwagons, just kinds being towed behind a snowmachine

@BrentColman @classik_e Instead of sweaty balls it’s frozen balls

Anyone know when Stampede is this year?

We really went from smoking and drinking black coffee in the office to open concept with matcha and vapes. We used to be a society.

@BrentColman Ah I still got time to gittyup

@classik_e August bruv

The number of GMC trucker hats at the local thrift stores in the coming weeks is going to be wild.

Anyone got eyes on Pete Davidson?

@DaddyStevexxx Bro your diarrhea has to be clearer than Dasani

@classik_e Or you can try not smearing shit all over your ass. Literally ever man's asshole (where the shit is likely to be) is hemmed in with hair and somehow 75% of people around the world do not use toilet paper at all.