urinary tract infector

no homo but we smokin feet tonight

@despaird0ll modern romance 🫶

@clithaver no but one tiem i was making out with someone with snakebites and we DID get stuck

made out with someone who also has angel fangs last night and wow that was cool they feel cool i always wondered what it was like

@djbonedog your mutuals are all coming together to lovebomb you out of this dw

It’s that lovely time of year where I get to feel chopped and unlovable for x amount of time

THICK THIGHS PUSSY STRAWBERRY

@djbonedog i cry my eyes out every time without fail

Tried to watch la la land for the fourth time and it worked, much to my despair

@antirepressant calm down!

@clithaver You can gain a bunch more by posting something else

they took the lights out of my bathroom so now i have a lamp in here for showering

Is there a single panel from this entire comic run that is not physically painful to look at

lowkey kinda got the average single dude dream setup here

i should have got 6 holy fuck that pastor + habanero combo just got me pregnant

i’m a bowl deep about to ascend to a higher plane thank you taco stand down the street

i can’t tell if i’m enchanted or having an existential crisis but the sunset is making me feel like i could melt into the air rn

nothing really prepares you for what it’s like returning home after years. the familiarities you expected to comfort you don’t exist anymore. the world has moved on

about to eat my 3rd grocery store salsa of the week

the only difference between being 18 and being 28 is there are less people to talk to

i fucking love cilantro

@peestains i’m 4/5 with you soldier

@beeliosis need my fruit fresh off the twink or i’m sending it back

@clithaver thought about some butt ass naked guy rubbing against this fruit and got #hungry

unsanitary fucks leaving cut fruit out butt ass naked to rub against the fridge grease and crumbs

i fucking hated my dad we hadn’t spoken in years but man i wish i could’ve had just one normal conversation with him before he passed.

my dad loved ketchup, it was genuinely a personality trait he wore with pride. i always thought it was stupid as hell. he’d always have 3-6 extra family sized bottles of heinz in the pantry because he put it on everything. to see his stash expired is so heavy and unreal

grief is weird cause i’ll be totally normal living in my late father’s house but finding an expired bottle of ketchup in the cupboard made me violently sob almost instantly