Christian Michael

One of my guilty pleasures is starting an episode of ‘How It’s Made’ halfway through and trying to figure out what they made

Thank you @cleopatrickband for spending 2,665 minutes with me this year on @Spotify. You are my #1. #2020Wrapped open.spotify.com/artist/6VTvaLJ…

Have you ever been pissed off to the point where you literally taste blood in your mouth?

Space force on the moon? This video has been circulating and has not been debunked. Does this have to do with placing our military in bunkers? Keeping everyone inside? Satellites getting rearranged? Or is just another deep fake?

i have not had my pp touched in a hot min 😢

jimmy johns wouldn't let me come inside to order a sandwich I had to order on the app and they slid it through the door like i was mid shit on the toilet without tp

I just burped. It made me light headed

Photography but it’s an extreme sport

Sleep deprivation is the key to comedy

I am now the only one of my friends who haven’t found the love of their lives

🤷🏽‍♂️☝🏼

Shut up and take my money twitter.com/Mens_Corner_/s…

Getting a tattoo 🙃

@ian_jesmcknight “Things like that”

You can’t say things like that. I will legit have a heart attack.

I could probably be an underwear model if I didn’t have so much acne

What’s more contagious: coronavirus or panicking? What mask can I wear to protect me from everyone‘s panicking?

@zophiadulaney_ Look, I know I can put as many facts as I want to in a tweet but you’ll still hate on the “mean Cheeto” who’s running America. Just know that life is hard, and it’s even harder when you’re stupid.

@maudegarrett Tall dogs?

Can any of my non-Australian followers take an ungoogled guess at what ‘togs’ are?

@zophiadulaney_ Well, do YOU want liars running/ working in the government?