♔ⓕ i ☺ η α CA♍PBεLL☆

"dude I wasn't THAT drunk" "you were stabbing a pineapple screaming " I KNOW YOUR IN THERE SPONGEBOB"

"I wasnt that drunk" "Dude, you were in my pool trying to find NEMO"

i wasnt that drunk. Dude when we walked into walmart n the voice came over the intercom you dropped to your knees and yelled god has spoken!

"i wasnt that drunk" "dude, you threw tennis balls at my cat, screaming; PIKACHU, GO BACK INTO YOUR POKEBALL."

"I wasnt that Drunk". Dude, you were walking around naked trying to put your phone in your pocket

Guy1: Dude I wasnt that drunk! Guy2: DUDE! You wrapped your d*ck in a $5 bill and chased my sister yelling "5 DOLLAR FOOTLONG"

"I wasnt that drunk..." "Dude, you were telling 'Yo mama' jokes to orphans..."

Hey why don't you text me anymore?" "Umm I don't know. Mayb b3cuz yhu t3x+ l!k3 di$"

sıɥʇ pɐǝɹ uɐɔ noʎ ɟı ʇǝǝʍʇǝɹ

I've made many mistakes in the past. We all have! I'm working hard to be a better person. Daily. I'm not perfect. But I have a good heart.

Oh = Just stop talking to me. K = I'm done talking. Whatever = Fuck you. Fine = Fuck it. I guess = I don't really give a fuck.

Hearing a noise in the shower and accepting the fact that your family has been murdered and you're next!

You've always wanted to get in a cab and yell, "FOLLOW THAT CAR!"

I really wish my dreams were recorded, so I can watch them. anyone else?

Smart man + smart woman = romance. Smart man + dumb woman = affair. Dumb man + smart woman = marriage. Dumb man + dumb woman = pregnancy