Ryan Brookshire

There are two kinds of people in the world: people who finish what they start

Ironically, Frank Sinatra grew to hate "My Way" but had to keep giving the people what they wanted. The so-called Chairman of the Board, like some minimum wage Burger King employee, essentially said Fine, have it YOUR way

i used to have pet peeves then they grew huge, took over the house, & put *me* in the crate!

Life is what happens while you're busy avoiding other plans

Haunt (2019) alternate titles: 👹 Texas Chainsaw Maze-acre 👹 Children of the Korn 👹 A Quiet Face 👹 Clan's Labyrinth 👹 Indiana Jones & the Temple of Goon 👹 Hostel 2: Electric Boogaloo 👹 The Haunting of Hell House LLC 👹 Insane Clown Posse 👹 Face/Off

Come make up songs with me! I'm teaching a 6-week Intro to Musical Improv—with a class show—at the lovely @LyricHyperion. Sunday afternoons starting August 18, all levels welcome! Thank you @fernandoafunes' The Lyric Hyperion & Glendale Room Training Center 🎹🎭🎶💖

Something's Gotta Give As Good As Is It Gets Complicated. Mamma Mia!

(in your funkiest George Clinton voice) my pheromones give her feral moans

thirst traps don't work on me, i'm a fucking camel (i hump myself)

most people don't know this but Wayne's World is actually a sequel to the far superior Wayne's Park

coworker described my vibe as "the disaster movie scientist no one listens to" 💀

@lasertheboy you're welcome! to help me try!

@correctbehavior stop thanks

I'm gonna leave this world like I entered it: kicking & screaming & covered in goo

@lasertheboy I agree! I have no money!

@correctbehavior no

I'm a financier I see-yer finances I don't have any, but I see yers

BREAKING: Podcaster starts second podcast to work through divorce caused by first podcast

me personally? I'd rather be left alone in the woods with a man than a bear. I'd kill the man: one less man in the woods! #ally

Jk, callbacks are a rarity for us all! Also, this isn't actually in reference to anything specific, I just like it ok!

Always a callback, never a call ☎️😞

@lasertheboy MEET MY DEMANDS!

@correctbehavior GIVE THEM BACK!

I have the patients of a saint (I kidnapped a bunch of patients from St. Jude hospital)