𝑪𝑨𝑳𝑳 𝑴𝑬 𝓙𝑨𝑪𝑶𝑩!

rly obsessed w this WWI puppet from the Imperial War Museum’s tiktok page

Esther, stop tryin' to feed the baby chocolate for breakfast. No, you can't have chocolate for breakfast either!

Happy pesach from my leavened dog.

MOVIE PITCH: one New York Jew’s quest to find matzo not imported from Israel

//look what just arrived from Vinted I'm sooo happy

You sure? You don't look so... not that you don't look beautiful! You're always a knock-out!

Hey, yeah, I just got in. ...Are you feelin' okay?

Queenie?

It's impossible to overdo schmear.

SHMEAR?

I get it. You're gettin' your fix of beigels before pesach. Worst time of year. THERE ARE OTHER FILLINGS.

I don't know who needs to hear this, but too much lox is a thing and it ain't good.

A British Jew is waiting in line to be knighted by the Queen. He is to kneel in front of her and recite a sentence in Latin when she taps him on the shoulders with her sword. However, when his turn comes, he panics in the excitement of the moment and forgets the Latin. Then, thinking fast, he recites the only other sentence he knows in a foreign language, which he remembers from the Passover Seder: "Ma nishtana ha layla ha zeh mi kol ha laylot." Puzzled, Her Majesty turns to her advisor and whispers, "Why is this knight different from all other knights?"

Hah! Gourd dog!

If nobody else got me I know Newt Scamander got me

//finding this post AFTER Purim has passed is very sad

one of the poems that most haunts me, A Death-Bed by Rudyard Kipling. told alternately in the voice of the German Kaiser, his doctors, and a commentator, written after Kipling’s son died in World War I