exhausted Padres lad

@GodDontLikeMe @Ace_QK @TheOfficialFNG Anything: (happens) The French: fetchez la guillotine

@yinyang_yo_ Put me in an apartment over a Vallarta and I’ll be going downstairs for my paleta every single day

Can HMart, 99 Ranch, Seafood City do this in LA

@WillBroadbent @CFgm_WHU Right you are, Ken!

@CFgm_WHU Desperately needs a Craig Charles Takeshi castle voice over

Found it

@baseball_cards @jphawkins__ @Crowee828 I posit that Jackson Merrill is showing exactly the correct amount of respect towards “the collector”

@jphawkins__ @Crowee828 I’m unsure how that relates to his lack of respect for the collector.

96 year old Vern Law is still signing autographs. He took great care to cover this one with his history, including his stint in the US Army and his 1960 Cy Young award, 2x All Star and Pittsburgh Pirates World Series champs. One of the San Diego Padres finest, Jackson Merrill, cannot be bothered to write the second letter of his first name. Dear all professional athletes: Be more like Vern Law. Be less like Jackson Merrill. Dear Jackson Merrill apologists (he signs so many, let's see you sign your name 500 times and not cut corners etc), don't make excuses for this effort. Just accept that Vern Law is still awesome and Jackson Merrill doesn't care about his fans.

How could it be anything else?

The sigh I just let out

@Montreal @ChaosHC0133 SHIVERS (Challenging: Success) -

@ChaosHC0133 Many reasons. But it was never your fault. 🤗

Montréal, why did my parents divorce

@JordanMazzaTV @hierstaanons Yep! Now, I knew that because I was a theater major. But that’s an impressive pull for a tech reporter.

@cringus__dingus @hierstaanons “Other Desert Cities” is the name of a Broadway play too: en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Other_Des…

The Inland Empire and it's not even close, 4.6 million people and it's so irrelevant that when you Google "Inland Empire" the first result is a movie of the same name that grossed $4.4 million, less than the population of the metro area

@americanamemes I won’t call it “Crypto dot com Arena”— it’s still Staples to me— but I do like the nickname “The Crypt”.

all my friends love baseball and hate ai

@ranmasaotome96 When do I start shooting the bow and arrow

Friendly reminder you need to start Hawkeyemaxxing. - wear a bathrobe at inopportune moments - bully your boss and co-workers with witty zingers - constantly daydrink martinis to get through The Horrors™  - have another man with you at all times to riff off of

@Exalted_Speed It’s Gail Simone and she’s making him look like a deeply unpleasant little weasel within the first two panels of his appearance Nonzero chance this ends with Paul catching a bullet. Trust the process.

I’m starting to think of Paul less as a character and more like a eldritch curse that passes from one fandom to another.

@Space_fairy_ I know, I know, we’re not supposed to make “drunken Irishman” jokes in the big ‘26… but this isn’t just low-hanging fruit, this shit is falling off the tree

Now Eilin, are you sure you wanna go there ?

“Disney exits $1B deal with OpenAI after OpenAI shuts down image-generation platform Sora”

@AlScott1998 Well, at least they’ve got Justin Martinez coming back in, uhhhhhhhb September

This gotta be the worst bullpen in baseball

@spidermanias “Sorry, we can’t use Kraven because Sony needs to make a shitty movie that’ll gross $60MM worldwide with him.”

We haven’t adapted enough villains in live action to warrant ANY repeat villains. Spider-Man still hasn’t fought: Kraven, Carnage, Black cat, Morlun, Hobgoblin, Shriek, Chameleon, Morbius, Beetle, Prowler, Sineater, Mister Negative

He’s a fat 80 year old. Nature is happening.

If I find out you’re watching some sort of AI-generated slop called “Fruit Love Island” I’m doing this to you btw

@equine__dentist Yeah. I saw a pair of Egyptian geese strutting through a parking lot a month or two ago and it felt like glimpsing a celebrity.

being an adult just means getting really into birds