Chris Bond

@1SecondEveryday —I updated my app and now when I add a new clip, my previous years aren’t showing. The clips are still there, but not all together on that day. What gives?

@natebargatze—maybe I’m late to the game with this, but what is so interesting off to your left (and over your head, apparently)? Looking forward to seeing you (again) in St. Louis.

This is lovely, but I doubt I would buy it. I don’t even know these people.

@AutoBeatnik @jvfriedman I think you Googled.

These are the actual instructions that came with a prescription today. I think our pharmacist needs a vacation.

I don’t know if I’m prepared to watch this story . . .

RT for no good reason.

Please join us tonight (Thursday) at 7p for our BOE Candidate Forum: Please click the link below to join the webinar: kirkwoodschools.zoom.us/j/98873196751

@AutoBeatnik I forgot about this appearance. Now that you’ve got it out there, I’m putting in my 2 weeks notice because I’m certain casting agents have seen my incredible skills and will be calling any minute. Of course now I look like I could play the father of the me in this episode.

@AutoBeatnik I honestly never knew that. Gotta update the resume.

@AutoBeatnik So wait—am I the official logo for the production company?

@Target, my 10 year old son had to write a persuasive argument for his class. He wrote about going to your store. #DontWaitGoToTargetNow

Caption time! How would you caption these? @JohnCleese @JimGaffigan @HamillHimself @SteveMartinToGo

@SIRIUSXM —Genius idea, not having your call center open on the day after people get presents (like your service). Bonus points for moving everything to texts, so that what used to take 15 minutes can last over an hour. Pretty amazing!

There are only a few days left to complete your academic plan. Check your school email for more information.

So, I’m hoping this picture isn’t the direction they were considering . . .

@HamillHimself —This looks like you may have had a rough night. How many different styles of action figures have been made of you? Do you have a favorite (or a favorite style)?

@jeffknight01 They’re probably all in the same union. Makes it a lot easier. Maybe they just found each other using the superhero intranet. HR connected them to one another. These are all completely plausible ideas.

For his back to school dinner, my son asked for Panera. Mac & cheese in a bread bowl, with a side of bread. I imagine @JimGaffigan would be so proud.

So grateful for Amazon x-ray. I had been wondering who was playing @JimGaffigan in this special.