Guys that work at weed dispensaries are like “No bro I swear it’s not gonna feel like you’ve been wrapped with bandages and locked in a sarcophagus for 2 thousand years” meanwhile the strain is named The Mummy’s Curse Comes True
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saliva plath
18.6K posts
saliva plath
@cryptofeminism
god’s lonely woman/shame’s only daughter
Katılım Aralık 2010
338 Takip Edilen883 Takipçiler
I turned 31 today so no more foolishness on my part from here on out
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Ultimately what I’d like for my birthday is to feel like fundamentally known by another
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i was two years old you fucking idiot
The Retro Room 🎮🕹🎬🎥@TheRetroRoomRoo
Hotel lobby. 1998. You’re 8 years old. Dad’s checking in. You spot this rack and immediately grab 14 brochures for places you will absolutely never visit. Caverns. Ziplines. Some outlet mall 40 miles the wrong direction. Doesn’t matter. You needed them all.
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So I need an angel investor to fund my dollhouse museum concept that I just came up with. It would Be a huge ROI I promise 😇
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Sometimes it’s hard to be a librarian because I care about books in a mean nasty huge bitch way instead of the soft cozy tender way that many of my colleagues approach it 😫 and yet I persevere
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Hunter Biden def using chat gpt to craft some of his longer form tweets
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I think people should be allowed to be transplants anywhere they want (besides Florida)
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Me going to any kind of function: i hope they play mister boombastic
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I’m at the bachelorette party talking about my favorite pbs documentaries
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They are playing an ad in the subways for the new Toy Story with the voice of Jack black so loud that I believe it breaks the sound barrier
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@cogitoergoscum I also acted like this when I lived in west Tampa
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had a great aunt that dressed as a victorian lady and spoke in a posh english accent (she was a cuban living in west tampa) and told everyone she was engaged to Tom Jones but having an affair with JFK. and u kno what. i think she was telling the truth.
Amy@amywrites2
My favorite weird family lore is that my great grandmother went a little batty in her middle age. She had all of these paranoid fantasies and accused people of outlandish things. She was put into a nursing home but got in trouble for waking up all of the patients and making them exercise with her in the middle of the night. My grandmother said one day she approached her mom and said “Mom, you have to stop this. Shape up so you can come home” and overnight she was normal again. To this day we have no idea what was wrong with her but she was completely fine for the rest of her life. It’s our unsolved family mystery.
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@rxckrxdxscxlvxs @xtinee I drove that stretch once and it was really fascinating to me as a Florida person
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@cryptofeminism @blairDow frank ocean is just a very popular artist among teenagers still
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2 high school girls walking behind me singing super rich kids by frank ocean and earl sweatshirt
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Drunk af in grand central has me feeling reminiscent to Michigan j frog
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@silvergelpen Kind of did change my life when it came out tbh
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@blairDow I’m wondering if it must be trending on tiktok too
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@cryptofeminism my high school aged niece also loves this song... timeless!
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