Crystal

Am I binge watching Obama speech vids....DUH

A decade + on, and I still crush hard on @MrJamesMay

Oh man, this hits extra special in 2020

Did initiate resolution: dill pickles are 100% better on a tuna sandwich than sweet, and sweet cannot be substituted on a pickle & cheese

And I broke yet another pair of Louboutins right in half... This is why I can't have nice things

Not only am I stuck in traffic, even worse I'm stuck in a Sentra.....#fml

Dammit Stuart Scott, didn't think you'd get to me! #somanyfeels #espnfeelsnetwork #booyah

"Can we do keg stands? I don't have a mani pedi scheduled until late afternoon!" says the buff black dude at the bar....

New drinking game: drink every time the girl at the table next to me says "...I'm in law school..." Ready, set, gonna be drunk real quick

Just got asked what year I was in at #UW, uggggh I graduated in 2006 lady, but thanks! #GoDawgs

I just watched a Xmas shopping commercial, it is the beginning of September, I'm going to throw a brick through my screen now.

Neighbors were locked out of their house at 12:27am, had to coach them through keyless re-entry, went much better than the time I tried...

Hardest phrase in the English language to speak: "I am unhappy"

The oyster shucking knife discussion happening right now at Walrus is fascinating.......or just Lithuanian.

I finally understand.....

I think the Seahawks will be Super Bowl champs. Get ready to light up the Empire State Building green, @VerizonWireless! #WhosGonnaWin

Baby polar bears are just sweet mini polar bears whose human murdering skills are still adorable and harmless

My baby boy Hankster is all grown up! First day of work today at Hankazon (in the future, Hankazon the company previously known as Amazon)

@Seattle_Bitch wait what?!?! I never knew, great plan though!

Goodnight moon. Until tomorrow.