Dave Ols.*

@BroadStHockey Not interested in Temu Selanne thx

According to Elliotte Friedman, Patrik Laine was almost a Flyer at the trade deadline. broadstreethockey.com/post/report-fl…

@hinx @StephaliciousD She's role playing Ryan Ellis apparently

Power washed my foot yesterday and I'm now convinced I'll have to get it amputated.

@BroadStHockey BSH is now clickbait? C'mon.

Matvei Michkov for Rocket Richard? 🚀 broadstreethockey.com/post/michkov-o…

@itsJeffTiedrich Finally, they brought back the Fail Whale

so the guy who makes cars that randomly crash and burst into flames is interviewing Donald Trump, and the interview crashed and burst into flames? holy shit, how did we Nazi this coming

@HannahPosted "I'm poppin and lockin at the exact intervals and degrees that are scientifically proven to throw down, so why isn't the floor rockin?"

Things I could live with never hearing again: is your whole party here?

It's tentacle time! Beat the Blues! Let's go Kraken! #Seakraken

Gruuuuuuuu! Go Kraken! #whereiroot #fearthedeep

Annual Why-isn't-@NHLNetwork-on-@YouTubeTV rant

@Eagles #gobirds #mvp #hehim

HFDCEOHWJD:IOSHCFO:DSWHFHFHOU:DWIDASWLASQW"OPSW)_DQJ

@PicturesFoIder This is broccoli guy

@lexilafleur Still less weird than Tyler Seguin

If I had a dollar for every time someone used my photos to catfish some guy on the internet and then that guy’s gf reached out to me about him cheating on her I would have $4. Which isn’t a lot, but HOW DOES THIS STILL KEEP HAPPENING TO ME!?

What's the German word for "show that you're really not interested in finishing but you've invested enough time in binging it that you're not going to go give up now"

@jamsmand @billmeltzer Better than Galchenyuk's

@billmeltzer How terrible is his backchecking?

End of 2nd period: SKA trails Torpedo, 2-1, and has been significantly outplayed. Michkov has skated 3:56 (eight shifts, all at 5-on-5) through two periods.

Scrum is a cancer. I've been writing software for 25 years, and nothing renders a software team useless like Scrum does. Some anecdotes: 1. They tried to convince me that Poker is a planning tool, not a game. 2. If you want to be more efficient, you must add process, not remove it. They had us attending the "ceremonies," a fancy name for a buttload of meetings: stand-ups, groomings, planning, retrospectives, and Scrum of Scrums. We spent more time talking than doing. 3. We prohibited laptops in meetings. We had to stand. We passed a ball around to keep everyone paying attention. 4. We spent more time estimating story points than writing software. Story points measure complexity, not time, but we had to decide how many story points fit in a sprint. 5. I had to use t-shirt sizes to estimate software. 6. We measured how much it cost to deliver one story point and then wrote contracts where clients paid for a package of "500 story points." 7. Management lost it when they found that 500 story points in one project weren't the same as 500 story points on another project. We had many meetings to fix this. 8. Imagine having a manager, a scrum master, a product owner, and a tech lead. You had to answer to all of them and none simultaneously. 9. We paid people who told us whether we were "burning down points" fast enough. Weren't story points about complexity instead of time? Never mind. I believe in Agile, but this ain't agile. We brought professional Scrum trainers. We paid people from our team to get certified. We tried Scrum this way and that other way. We spent years doing it. The result was always the same: It didn't work. Scrum is a cancer that will eat your development team. Scrum is not for developers; it's another tool for managers to feel they are in control. But the best about Scrum are those who look you in the eye and tell you: "If it doesn't work for you, you are doing it wrong. Scrum is anything that works for your team." Sure it is.

Today would be a great day to abolish the TSA

A PSA to the hockey community, please refrain from throwing random trash onto the ice, it ruins the experience for everyone