daily melissa facts

melissa fact #143: she's the new sixth member of the backyardigans.

melissa fact #142.1: she got van to promote her furniture store

melissa fact #142: she got a van to promote her funiture store.

melissa fact #141: after hearing about him cheating on megan thee stallion, melissa put butter on klay thompson's shoes so that he'd slip and fall mid game.

melissa fact #140: she has been turned into a labubu.

melissa fact #139: she was the first person to ever successfully climb the scientology building.

melissa fact #138: she will be dipped in liquid nitrogen.

melissa fact #137: she's going to play epona in the "the legend of zelda" movie.

melissa fact #136: for lesbian visibility day, she painted her hut with the lesbian flag colors. nobody knows where or how she got the paint for it.

melissa fact #135: she recently got a job as a night guard.

melissa fact #134: she fucked up the cobblestone generator.

melissa fact #133 (submission): she tried weed once but instead of getting paranoid or relaxed, she just spent a hour slow dancing in the living room longingly with a life size Jennifer Tilly cardboard cutout.

melissa fact #132 (submission): she gets gay off those apples

melissa fact #131: Melissa Hat has been cast in A24’s ‘ELDEN RING’ adaptation directed by Alex Garland.

melissa fact #130: she has made herself and shauna as miis in tomodachi life.

melissa fact #129 (submission): she had an obsession with Hilary from But I’m a Cheerleader and to this day nobody can figure out why.

melissa fact #128 (submission): she held ten people hostage during queendom 2 to vote for loona.