🔪Damascus🔪 (got a job)

"who can be sure what is right and wrong? Good and evil? We live in a world of blurred morality" the sophist screams, expecting everyone to bow along and give up. I smirk dryly. "Your gay and coping" The sophist, on the edge of screaming the N word at me: "WHAT IF I WASNT??"

@HinaBoBinaVT You gotta do it for a week to saturate your muscles properly

@damachanne @uwutoowo1 @chromuru if you donate 1,000$ by yourself we will drink the potion

NEXT SATURDAY I'm collaborating with Hope For The Day to do a charity drive with @HinaBoBinaVT and @chromuru where you can bribe us to do shit for like 8 straight hours in the name of charity

No, you're the philosopht cocked one here! I'm erecting my thoughts via the lower brain stemen, that means I'm baby batter than you and you'e stoppidh hat. Get lost, scrum, I've had enough of your tight yapping for today.

Hand holding mine do you swear to kiss me through the phone in wickedness and wonder till we game end or the wifi drops out Yeah blud.🥹 This jit may now crack his bird💃🕺 👏👏👏👏👏

My life is a Netflix original that had the executive fuckheads rewrite half my dialogue to add repetitive exposition with second screen viewers in mind

Gps telling me to do a U turn along a freeway to avoid "rapist avenue" which is a normal street named after a normal guy. In this world, rapist is a normal last name for old people to have and it still means the exact same thing and my gps is stupid as fuck and I'm late for prom

Sometimes I hear the staff at Target gossiping, trying to diagnose me with something. Not in a bad way or anything they're just confused what my goals are. Same tbh.

@soymilktm Soy I have created a magical potion you won't believe what it can do

Why can’t handwarmers or toewarmers company make pussy warmers ?? 😭😭 my period cramps are absolutely killing me it woke me up at 4 am and i stuck a toe warmer to my underwear and i feel so much relief it works so much quicker than if i were to fill up hot water bag

I snitch on my day 1s to random service workers cause shared sorrow is half sorrow they taught me that in therapy class

Buying isekai slaves on the target dot com shipped and sold by a third party

I'm creating a new form of social equality I will call it millennial gray and you can figure out the details yourself

If I don't get that cruise ticket, I can kiss my post-virgin life plans goodbye! Everyone will make fun of me during reunions!! I'll be killed!!! I never even got to taste a girl's skin.... Whatever, these brownies are getting stale anyway... Some Rocketman I turned out to be..

Grinding up dollar tree frozen hamburger and sprinkling it on my weed infested yard to kill everything

Hand roll de mayo

twitch.tv/foldedmetal it's seetho de moggo or something

Don't really see anime girls eating hamburgers anymore

I think we should all be kind to one another, maybe even to two another.

There is background music in Project Hail Mary that sounds almost exactly like this

Ikea should invent a kallax insert that you can creampie

Got mcdonalds sprite poured on me as an infant and it didn't do anything to my brain or body at all