Biscuit

Friendly's sign near my house "WE WI H YOU WELL STEVE" touches me how they used the last "S" for his name

Need to toss ancient purse tampons. How tragically broken does my vagina need to be to accommodate cotton shaped like a plastic bag twist

what is waffle uncool #notcool

update: the woman with a teardrop tattooed on her forehead checked the soft spot, baby is OK. #PioneerValley #RMV

update: The Chatty Traveller forgot to use his accent when guy behind him in line dropped his baby. #RMV

"I go to Thailand a lot. it's not better or worse. It just is, you know? it's the journey." - The One Chatty Guy at the #PioneerValley #RMV

should've known I'd be able to smell the yawn of the kid in class reading The Electric Kool-Aid Acid Test @PioneerValley

thanks, unicyclist with the beard grazing your nipples, for reminding me I live in #WesternMA. 2 wheels in the bike line is so "done"

any #SouthEastAsian brothers and sisters out there dig cover bands? auditioning for 4 Naan Blondes. no, I'm not (ne)paling around

when I feel like a #loser living in a small town, I turn the radio on, bet that Eddie Money is playing and WIN every time!

saved $$ shopping at @AEO but their baby slut-shaped pants are giving me abdominal pain. #bittersweet

to the SUV who ran into a candy truck leaving @PlanetFitness ... I feel you, bro. hope you and your #guns are okay.

when they tested it...did the dermie and gyno go with a sunscreen-like, "you rub me, I rub you" deal? #quidproHOT

you know you're listening to #WesternMA radio when the booming male voiceover references his former partner Larry...

Community Weed Pull advertises: "We supply the boats, you supply the hands!" ... damn, this would be dirty / compelling in #FindingNemo

BREAKING: 80% of ticket sales for The Purge due to misguided bulimics #PurgeNight

Sign for blood drive at the #WesternMA Olive Garden ... pretty sure no one wants that blood after #CrispyRisottoBites

when Air Canada thinks your name is danal #FamilyVacation14

@IGGYAZALEA @ArianaGrande love your song but tonelessly hissing along to "I got one less problem without you" in my cubicle got me #reported

half-off happy hour at @Starbucks ... the Frappture